https://www.robindreeke.com/blog daily 0.75 2025-08-24 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/fbi-secrets-to-mastering-context-unlock-unbreakable-alliances-with-empathy-episode-6 monthly 0.5 2025-08-25 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/mastering-conflict-resolution-in-alliances-insights-from-episode-5 monthly 0.5 2025-08-18 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/unlock-the-spy-secrets-to-true-inspiration monthly 0.5 2025-08-11 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/unlock-the-spy-secrets-to-mastering-communication-episode-3 monthly 0.5 2025-08-04 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/spy-secrets-to-building-unbreakable-trust-episode-2-of-the-unbreakable-alliances-podcast monthly 0.5 2025-07-28 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/unlock-the-spy-secrets-to-building-unbreakable-alliances-my-first-podcast-episode-drops monthly 0.5 2025-07-24 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/say-it-without-words-building-rapport-through-body-language monthly 0.5 2025-02-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/8ceaa5d2-73cf-48a9-9907-014b5a47bfee/Accommodating+Nonverbals.png Blog - Say it Without Words: Building Rapport Through Body Language - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/mastering-conversations-the-power-of-time-constraints-to-build-rapport-and-connect monthly 0.5 2025-01-28 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/forging-unbreakable-alliances-the-trust-factor monthly 0.5 2024-08-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/48881a48-f108-490e-a7c6-558dd876d8ee/The+Trust+Factor.png Blog - Forging Unbreakable Alliances – The Trust Factor - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/alliance-over-adversity-strategies-from-lewis-and-clark-to-navy-seals monthly 0.5 2024-07-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/aaedb733-f022-49bf-bfca-70a1c0cfed9d/Promo+graphic.png Blog - Alliance Over Adversity: Strategies from Lewis and Clark to Navy SEALs - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/bound-by-unity-narratives-of-unbreakable-alliances-and-resilience- monthly 0.5 2024-06-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/d09b088f-9d29-4d79-989a-05e9759af940/May+Linkledin+Books.png Blog - Bound by Unity: Narratives of Unbreakable Alliances and Resilience - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/conquering-comfort-embracing-discomfort-to-forge-unbreakable-alliances monthly 0.5 2024-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/3619bd97-95be-4656-a7fd-23b484d0fdb2/April+Books.png Blog - Conquering Comfort: Embracing Discomfort to Forge Unbreakable Alliances - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-power-of-unbreakable-alliances-lessons-from-march-2024s-must-read-books monthly 0.5 2024-04-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/adf82cfd-fbe9-4966-8475-462db504f6d5/March+Graphics.png Blog - The Power of Unbreakable Alliances: Lessons from March 2024's Must-Read Books - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/building-trust-and-allies-a-journey-through-nelson-mandelas-long-walk-to-freedom monthly 0.5 2024-03-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/9cca8330-32bc-4d2d-8977-36579b6b28d4/Mandela.png Blog - Building Trust and Allies: A Journey through Nelson Mandela's "Long Walk to Freedom” - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/thanksgiving-rapport-ten-techniques-to-survive-and-thrive-amidst-family-chaos monthly 0.5 2023-11-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/6913f6cd-6349-4a0a-b7ae-95c2a58bd9c1/thanksgiving+rapport+article.png Blog - Thanksgiving Rapport: Ten Techniques to Survive and Thrive Amidst Family Chaos - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/facing-hearts-of-darkness monthly 0.5 2023-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/90aae421-201d-4d51-abcf-6242b4befafd/True+Crime.png Blog - Facing "Hearts of Darkness" - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/forging-unstoppable-alliances-the-key-to-success-in-every-walk-of-life monthly 0.5 2023-10-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/7e378583-22ec-4e02-8d40-c9c86f804ac7/Unstoppable+Alliances.png Blog - Forging Unstoppable Alliances: The Key to Success in Every Walk of Life - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/trust-and-creating-allies-the-six-axis-model-of-influence monthly 0.5 2023-07-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/d3f7088f-85a2-4939-b3b8-2f220715d176/Linkedin+Graphic.png Blog - Trust and Creating Allies: The Six-Axis Model of Influence - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/how-to-thrive-in-conflict monthly 0.5 2023-06-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/3f6c0747-35bb-41d1-b453-6010d1ae3e98/Dan+Linkedin+.png Blog - How to Thrive in Conflict - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/how-to-work-with-almost-anyone monthly 0.5 2023-06-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/7c2a1962-ae6d-40ec-b426-470dde77fe0c/Article+Linkedin.png Blog - How to Work with (Almost) Anyone - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/your-journey-to-greatness monthly 0.5 2023-06-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/8ffd9ff9-98d9-440f-a120-72e970164fff/Joshua+Linkedin+Article.png Blog - Your Journey to Greatness - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-secret-world-of-corporate-spies monthly 0.5 2023-06-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/2b6b974e-515c-4d2c-9a7f-d779b746cabb/Spies.png Blog - The Secret World of Corporate Spies - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/exploring-the-cosmos-of-curiosity-and-empathy-w-astrophysicist-and-author-neil-degrasse-tyson monthly 0.5 2023-05-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/45eb5fb5-f293-4ff0-976f-c4d58bd64586/tyson1.jpg Blog - Exploring the Cosmos of Curiosity and Empathy w/ Astrophysicist and Author Neil deGrasse Tyson - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-cure-for-hate monthly 0.5 2023-05-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/07162225-7de0-4ec4-bbdf-7497ac8a4074/Cure+for+Hate.png Blog - The Cure for Hate: - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/in-the-moment-building-trust-through-laughter-and-presence monthly 0.5 2023-05-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/69a89da7-17dc-4271-8e3f-f3d68982dcc2/In+the+moment.png Blog - In The Moment: Building Trust Through Laughter and Presence - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/naked-leadership-the-power-of-courage-authenticity-and-trust monthly 0.5 2023-05-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/9b11c651-040d-4d2d-a911-9050e71ddf42/Naked+Leadership.png Blog - Naked Leadership: The Power of Courage, Authenticity, and Trust - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/guided-by-critical-moments-solving-challenges-with-storytelling monthly 0.5 2023-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/d2874ad7-99db-4d14-9f46-ec2c9dcb48c8/Critical+moments.png Blog - Guided by Critical Moments: Solving Challenges with Storytelling - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/building-resilience-how-to-overcome-adversity-and-achieve-your-goals monthly 0.5 2023-04-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/4d722182-184f-404e-8d4c-febbf3f5d1f5/Resileince.png Blog - Building Resilience: How to Overcome Adversity and Achieve Your Goals - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/threads-of-bravery monthly 0.5 2023-04-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/c4bf3718-2bc6-4a63-8d46-86e3707a44a5/Bravery.png Blog - Threads of Bravery: - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/disciplined-listening monthly 0.5 2023-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/81c0266e-aa34-477c-bade-708ecb33ceba/disciplined+listening.png Blog - Disciplined Listening - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/forging-trust-predicting-behavior-in-an-unpredictable-world monthly 0.5 2022-05-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/42e3ece8-bca5-48ab-9d98-f64c440c82b1/Forging+Trust.png Blog - Forging Trust: Predicting Behavior in an Unpredictable World Forging Trust: Predicting Behavior in an Unpredictable World By: Robin Dreeke We all fear the unknown and the unpredictability of those around us. In a world filled with uncertainty, fears, and challenges, we all seek individuals we can trust, connect with, and provide the psychological safety all humans crave. But most of us assess trustworthiness subjectively, based upon our “gut feeling” and often fail in our evaluations of others. The result is distrust, ruined relationships, and cynicism. Therefore, we need a more objective method for assessing who to trust and actionable techniques to forge the trust, relationships, and connections we need to thrive in every aspect of our lives. As the retired chief of the FBI Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, a recruiter of Russian spies, and a recognized global behavioral expert I have a deep understanding of human motivations and behaviors. Forging trust, building healthy connections and relationships, and letting go of our inconsistent assessment of others is easily achieved when you apply objective observations of the world and people around us. Assessing those around us is much simpler than you may think, and you don’t need advanced degrees or years of research. However, it is challenging because of our egos. The first step is recognizing this basic fact; Humans will always act in their own best interests in terms of their safety, security, and prosperity. Most of us guess as to what we think the other person is going to do or more frequently “This is what I would do.” When we let go of our ego and bias, then we truly see the world from the other person’s perspective. We can start understanding the actions of others and even start predicting them when we truly focus with what I call, “nonjudgmental curiosity.” This ability to predict the actions of others is applicable whether you are assessing family, friends, co-workers, leaders of nations, or even countries themselves. Whether recruiting spies or attempting to have a conversation with your kids, each situation requires a healthy connection based upon trust. Humans seek to be valued and understood to build that bridge. Making the other person the focus of our language is the key. With the appropriate phraseology we can “make it all about them” and provide them with the psychological comfort we all seek. Include at least one of these four pillars of communication to ensure that the focus is on the other person and not yourself: 1. Seek THEIR thoughts and opinions instead of sharing yours. 2. Speak in terms of THEIR priorities, challenges, and “pain points”, instead of yours. 3. Validate THEM without judging them with “nonjudgmental curiosity.” 4. Empower THEM with choices. Ensuring that the focus is on the other person is the first step and next we need to be able to predict the strength of the relationship to manage our expectations. The following six behavioral signs are a great tool for assessing the strength of the relationship. The purpose of this assessment is to manage our expectations to avoid hurt feelings, frustration, or anger. Take note of as many of these behaviors as you can and assess where you are today. Look for them daily and see which direction you are headed. 1. Vesting: creating symbiotic linkage of mutual success. - They adjust to you. - They call in favors for you. - They share deep secrets. 2. Longevity: believing your bonds will last. - Ask to participate in long term goals. - Pay attention to traditions and inclusion. - They typically say ”we” instead of “I” or “You”. 3. Reliability: Competence and Diligence: demonstrating competence and diligence - They speak with specifics. - They accept responsibility. - They are transparent with shortcomings. 4. Actions: displaying consistent patterns of positive behaviors. - Repeated patterns of observed behaviors. - They fulfill requests quickly. - Their version of events doesn’t change. - They live up to their obligations. 5. Language: creating connections with masterful communication. - They seek your thoughts and opinions. - They speak in terms of your priorities. - They validate you. - They give you choices. 6. Stability: transcending conflict with emotional accord. - They are hard to scare. - They are impeccably rational. - They are happy with themselves. In a world filled with never-ending challenges and uncertainty, letting go of our fear by understanding the behaviors of others and forging healthy relationships is a great solution. It is our fear of the unknown and our ego’s insecurities that can create our own internal chaos. If you try using nonjudgmental curiosity, you can look for these wonderful behaviors in others and then you will begin to enjoy the calm that a more predictable world around us provides. Predictability doesn’t mean that the world becomes any easier or better, but it does mean that we can face the challenges with a calm mind. A calm mind is far healthier, productive, and innovative than one filled with fear and chaos. Give yourself and those around you the greatest gift of understanding. This amazing gift is known as Empathy. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-connected-leader-value-people-over-process monthly 0.5 2022-02-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/348d776f-5943-4085-9c20-b79851466116/No+Rules+Rules-1.png Blog - The Connected Leader: Value People Over Process - “Amazing judgement solves problems, not processes.” The exceptional leader creates an environment of trust and psychological safety in which people can innovate freely without the fear of failure or internal backstabbing. When a culture of innovation prevails it is the sound judgement of individuals that solves our greatest challenges and not processes created by management. Many times, processes are the starting point but often not the answer to our biggest obstacles. A nimble mind that has ownership of the outcome will always outperform a process and leave a situation, organization, and life better off for having been part of it. Question: What actions are you taking to create an environment that values great judgement? When we create a workplace with stunning colleagues and cut unhealthy relationships everything soars. Performance is contagious, both good and mediocre. For this reason, the exceptional leader always must focus on emotionally stable healthy connections for innovation, progress, and success. Communication and candor are critical, but only when the feedback has positive intent and solves problems and doesn’t create new ones. We hate feedback because we fear group rejection, for this reason a connected leader provides “belonging cues” when providing growth feedback. All of us must feel psychologically safe to bring forth our most innovative solutions. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/b5ada30d-3a98-4065-8e21-a8b6f147c42b/No+Rules+Rules-2.png Blog - The Connected Leader: Value People Over Process - “Healthy and innovative environments teach to give and receive candor and feedback well.” When providing and receiving feedback, review these five principles of feedback for growth: 1. Is the information meant to assist or vent frustrations? 2. Is the information clear on how the information helps individual or company and not you? 3. Is the information actionable or is it merely an observation? 4. Demonstrate appreciation. 5. Accept or discard the information provided as appropriate. Ultimately, the exceptional reinforce the difference between insights and being a jerk. Question: What are you doing to foster an environment of healthy productive feedback and growth? Connected leaders must model the way and be transparent with themselves and their own failings as well if they wish to build the culture of trust in which people, not processes, solve our greatest challenges through exceptional innovation. These simple two values help establish a culture of trust and innovation. 1. Always act in the best interests of the company 2. Never do anything that makes it harder for others to achieve their goals “When you show people you trust them, the exceptional show you how trustworthy they are.” Transparency equals trust. Keeping secrets creates psychological discomfort. The connected leader provides information for the situational awareness of the employees for them to take ownership. With high levels of ownership, high level solutions and results are inevitable. Opposite of transparency are actions such as spinning the truth. Using avoidance or “spin” is a common way leaders lose the very trust they seek. The connected leader uses plain speak. When the connected leader has established trust and innovation is taking hold, consider the innovation cycle to elevate progress: - Search for dissent and socialize the idea amongst the team - Test it before implementation - Make your prediction on the outcome - If it succeeds celebrate it, if it fails highlight it and learn The connected leader knows that there is no plan for chaos and the unexpected challenges each day brings forth. Processes and procedures are our starting point when faced with adversity, but innovation is what will propel us through to our ultimate goals and success. Creating an atmosphere of trust where amazing judgement takes hold is the goal. What are you doing to create an environment of innovation? https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/exceptional-leadership-starts-with-self monthly 0.5 2022-02-03 https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-universe-is-on-our-side-why-arent-we monthly 0.5 2022-01-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/200f4c9c-4aa1-4b7d-bdef-06143eb95e7c/The+alchemist-1.png Blog - The Universe is on Our Side; Why Aren’t We? - And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. It’s the possibility that a dream might come true that makes life interesting. Whether we are creating or re-affirming dreams, or setting the path forward for the coming year, each of us have experienced moments when things “just go our way.” These wonderful events tend to occur when we have a “calm mind.” A mind free from the negative emotions; stress, anger, frustration, resentment, envy, etc. A calm mind is your greatest resource for yourself and thereby a greater resource for others. As leaders, teachers, mentors, and guides, we are always resources for the success and prosperity of those around us. Success comes most easily to those with the calm mind that clearly sees the opportunities presented. In all cases, those opportunities come through our healthy relationships. How calm is your mind? Can you see the path forward? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/992bfcdb-0a8d-4248-a35c-54b5f3293137/The+Four+Agreements-1.png Blog - The Universe is on Our Side; Why Aren’t We? - Humans are the only animal that pay a thousand times for one mistake: The exceptional leader aids others in moving beyond the mistake. Much of the pain we inflict on ourselves and on others derives from mistakes of the past. Our ego, vanity, and insecurities dwell on our own faults and likewise those of others. Cruelly, we remind ourselves and others of these mistakes and continually inflict pain and suffering on those we care the most about as well as lead. The exceptional leader provides the psychological comfort all humans seek. The toxic leader makes us pay again and again for one mistake. Which leader do choose to be? What actions will you take? https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/2021-a-year-of-learning monthly 0.5 2022-01-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/f310ca2f-85f5-4cde-b9e9-23db95cbbf24/2021+reading-1.png Blog - 2021: A Year of Learning - Wisdom; Get it, apply it, and pass it on. My humble thanks and gratitude to all the great authors who were my teachers this past year. Wisdom is the combination of the accumulation of knowledge and the application of the same. To be truly exceptional, we must continue to have a self-mastery plan that not only acquires wisdom but has a system of application and dissemination in place if you wish to live your purpose to it’s fullest. The humble student is at the same time an inspired mentor. What did you learn this past year and from who? What is your plan for 2022? A few of my favorites: Tim Ferriss, "Tribe of Mentors" Steven Pressfield, "Gates of Fire", A Man at Arms", "The Virtues of War", "Killing Rommel", "The Warrior Ethos", "The War of Art" Robert Cialdini, "Influence Jim Mattis, "Call Sign CHOAS" Robert Greene, "The 48 Laws of Power" Marc Polymeropoulos, "Clarity in Crises" Mark Brigman, Ph.D., SPLP, "Partnernomics" Jack Barsky, "Deep Undercover" James Clear, "Atomic Habits" Simon Sinek, "Start with Why", "Leaders Eat Last" Hampton Sides, "In the Kingdom of Ice" Chris McChesney, "The Four Disciplines of Execution" Marcus Aurelius, "Meditations" Tasha Eurich, "Insight" Jay Shetty, "Think Like a Monk" Walter Isaacson, "Benjamin Franklin" Christopher Voss, "Never Split the Difference" Christopher Hadnagy, "Human Hacking" Joe Navarro, "Be Exceptional" Brendan Kane, "Hook Point", "One Million Followers" Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning" Jack Schafer, "The Truth Detector" Maria Ross, "The Empathy Edge" Ekhart Tolle, "The Power of Now" Jocko Willink, Leif Babin, "Extreme Ownership", The Dichotomy of Leadership" Bob Burg, "The Go Giver" Seneca, "Letters from a Stoic" Ryan Holiday, "Courage is Calling", "Stillness is the Key", "Ego is the Enemy", "The Obstacle is the Way", "Lives of the Stoics" William McRaven, "Make Your Bed" Alfred Lansing, "Endurance" Gregory Diehl, "The Heroic and Exceptional Minority" https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/unbreakable monthly 0.5 2022-01-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/692add7c-0849-4f3d-b33f-370eb4820a5f/Courage+is+calling+-7.png Blog - Unbreakable - Unbreakable Having courage doesn’t mean you are unbreakable; it means getting back up when you have been broken. The challenge is learning to be flexible with your “how and what” while staying true to your “why.” Be flexible with the path to your destination, embrace change and challenge. You can’t win a battle or make a change you’ve quit on. There is only one way to give thanks to the courage that has gone before us; continue the tradition we have been a part of. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/master-spy-recruiter monthly 0.5 2021-08-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1627910077070-ISIKJDUUPFF5X6AZ7137/Tribe+of+mentors-6.png Blog - Master Spy Recruiter - Master Spy Recruiter: Proactive Leadership and Relationship Building is Critical for ALL Success! As a new FBI Agent right out of the Academy, I was assigned to a Russian Counter-Intelligence Squad in New York City. All I knew about recruiting Spies, I had learned from watching television shows and James Bond movies. From my understanding, the steps appeared to be obvious and straightforward. First, you identify the Spy and then you “pitch” them. In other words, you have a conversation about whether or not they are interested in committing espionage against their own country. I thought that the tool or skill set that I would need, would be nothing less than an ability to have a great conversation with a spy. I knew that I would need to be persuasive, but I could rely on my communication skills for that. Of course, all of these things are important, but none are as valuable as the many conversations and relationships you build prior to “the pitch” of the spy that will make you successful. I soon learned that these conversations and relationships are the real interpersonal communications skills you need to have when building the foundation of Spy Recruitment. My first case on the squad was to investigate the Cipher Clerks assigned to the Russian Mission. My goal was to identify their daily habits and try to initiate a Recruitment pitch, if the opportunity presented itself. It seemed simple enough, as I already knew their identity. Next, I would need to create a chance encounter. Maybe on a street corner not far from the Mission, where I could have a casual chat with them. At some point, the conversation would become serious and I would have to convince them that betraying their country would be beneficial for everyone involved. As a young agent, it seemed like a good plan in my mind and could not fail… My Mentor was a very experienced and intelligent Senior Agent at the FBI. Although he recognized my enthusiasm, he also addressed my total lack of patience and understanding of what this job truly required. I remember him asking if I wouldn’t mind running a few errands with him. First, we went to the FBI garage to get an oil change and maintenance on our FBI vehicles. My mentor brought a box of donuts and coffee for the staff, who all knew him by name. Then, we stopped by the Finance office to process the vouchers for our operations. Once again, we showed up with a box of chocolates and the Support Personnel knew him by name. Next, we met with our FBI Static and Mobile Surveillance Teams. We showed up with sandwiches and talked about baseball for the entire afternoon. I was starting to see a pattern of behavior that my Mentor was teaching me, that would be the key to my success in the FBI. Some mornings, my Mentor would bring homemade cookies to our Linguists and Translators. Then, we would casually chat about the lives of the Intelligence Officers they were monitoring for us. Often, we would have lunch with the Analysts whose job was to assimilate and collect information on our Intelligence Officers. This Senior Agent seemed to know and have friends everywhere. Keep in mind that at the time, the New York City FBI office had over 1,200 Agents assigned to it. Sometimes, we had to travel and take trips to Headquarters in Washington, DC where we would spend many hours with his old friends and colleagues who had risen in the ranks of the Administration. In order to succeed, we would need their support and approval for our operations. Throughout the day, we would support and interact with other Squads in the Office. While speaking with the Squad Members, we would learn information and share valuable resources. Everyone benefitted from and was appreciative of our involvement and interest. All of these ideas and actions were not written in some sort of manual or playbook. These behaviors were the choices of a Senior Agent who was teaching me to be proactive on forging Positive Relationships and creating Purposeful Teams. Each one of these relationships played a vital role in the success of our operation. I would soon learn that in our Division, my Mentor was known as the “Go to Guy.” He was the Agent that people reached out to, if they needed help or a job accomplished. These relationships that he had created had all become opportunities for not only his success, but the success of others. This network of relationships not only existed within the FBI, but also in other Intelligence Agencies and within the public. These relationships were the tools that provided critical operational information and success to an almost impossible and already difficult mission. Relationship Building was the key to success for one of the FBI's most lauded Recruiter of Spies and the person that has made the greatest impact on our National Security, that I have ever met. This success for himself and most importantly our country was a direct result of his Proactive Leadership. It took some time, patience and a lot of hard work but I was finally able to make a successful pitch of the Cipher Clerk. It was the first of many in my career that I attribute to the Proactive Leadership and Relationship Development Skills that I learned from watching and listening to the lessons of my Mentor. I took these life-long valuable skills and applied them not only to my FBI career, but also to the relationships in my personal life with family and friends. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/virtues-of-leadership monthly 0.5 2021-07-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1626437553066-RNU0D195XLKKUGV1I7EP/Exceptional-3.png Blog - Virtues of Leadership - Virtue of Leadership Virtues of Leadership Because a thing hasn’t been done, doesn’t mean it can’t be done, and no reason not to try. Without a doubt, the hardest training I ever did in my life was at Marine Corps Officer Candidate School (OCS). During my time at the Naval Academy, it was mandatory that midshipmen that aspired to be Marine Corps Officers had to go through the OCS program known as “Bulldog.” The training was six weeks of living hell on Earth where Marine Corps Drill Instructors and officers are screening you to decide whether they want to take a chance on you leading Marines. During this “training”, the instructors would identify individuals they didn’t think had what it took. They would inevitably place them in a leadership position for closer evaluation, such as the “Candidate Platoon Commander.” (CPLC) All the candidates knew this position was a “death sentence” because we never saw a candidate survive the position and not get kicked out… Until my good friend Andrew Burchfield. I went to prep school with him and knew him to be a bit of a funny, happy-go-lucky firecracker with no end of positive enthusiasm. I will never forget the fateful day he was told he was the CPLC for that day. We all thought it was the end. Halfway through the day, we had just finished noon meal and were standing at parade rest outside the chow hall waiting for our Drill Instructors to take us to our next training evolution. Burch was standing in front of the platoon awaiting the drill instructors for the march to our event as was normal. Time ticked by and no Drill Instructors. Burch executed an about face, faced his fellow candidates, called us to attention, executed a right face and was about to march us out. I will never forget this moment! Many of us called out to Burch and said, “What the heck are you doing, are you nuts?” His response, “We are late for our next evolution. There are no drill instructors to take us. It’s better to have a tiger by the tail than to have to kick a mouse in the ass.” Burch got us to our event on time and from the looks of things saved the butt of our drill instructor. Burch was the only person I ever knew to survive the position and go on to be an amazing Marine and leader. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/fortune-favors-the-bold-or-does-it monthly 0.5 2021-09-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1626264712130-KYBF6IJRI4DHDUGW8U2Y/virtues+of+war-1.png Blog - Fortune Favors the Bold… Or Does It? - “Fortune Favors the Bold.” Or does it? Audaces, Fortuna, Iuvat” A Latin proverb that is also happens to be the motto of my Naval Academy class of 1992. When I first graduated and became a Marine Corps officer it was these types of inspirational quotes that drove myself and my fellow Marines forward to take decisive action. Often those bold decisions played out well. Other times they failed majestically. What I failed to realize and only came to learn years later is that leadership encompasses dichotomies and not absolutes. The way a leader assesses and makes decisions is through awareness and observing. The opposite dichotomy to boldness is timidity. Many would agree that being timid rarely brings forth the success a leader seeks, but it can also inspire patience to become more situationally aware before taking bold action. Years ago, when I was working with defectors (spies) that had decided to work with us in the FBI I asked a Russian SVR Colonel what made him such a bold risk taker. He laughed at me, slapped me on my shoulder good naturedly and assured me he was no bold risk taker. He explained how he had been patient, assessing the world, politics, his situation, and his families for many years. He agreed his choice to defect was bold, but not reckless or without patient contemplation and massive situational awareness. The greatest and most impactful leaders are bold and decisive, but they do not act impulsively or reckless without situational awareness. Learn to balance the dichotomy. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/quiet-mind-active-leader monthly 0.5 2021-05-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1622146868578-ZGUARF1WW8HX3YT3Z1X3/Stillness+is+the+key+1.png Blog - Quiet Mind, Active Leader - If you are a high tempo “Type A,” read on: When I was younger, I believed that one aspect of leadership was to be constantly on the go. Playing football, running track, multiple clubs and organizations, student body officer, and many jobs was part of my everyday life. I thought this was leadership. What I didn't realize was that a high tempo doesn't necessarily equate to clear thinking, which is required of all great leaders. Many a humbling moment was created because I was juggling too many balls in my mind at the same time. When the mind isn't constantly bombarded with a million tasks, ideas, and things to do, clarity of thought enables leaders to move in a purposeful direction. Inner stillness is the key to all. Leaders just don’t possess it, they radiate it. Stillness allows us to unlock our genius and allows us to do the same for our teams. Leaders use stillness to see what must be seen and act. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1622147021263-DY9V933O6C8RLCODH3BJ/Stillness+is+the+key+2.png Blog - Quiet Mind, Active Leader - Leaders see all the way through to the end: The first obligation of a leader and decision maker is to see all the way through to the end. This allows the leader to see the problems of others and offer appropriate resources. The most impactful know how to use time and patience as a tool. Leaders must also be present. They can observe what they have and make the most of what they are given. It may be frustrating, but scarcity of resources is one of the best drivers of innovation. Innovative leaders know and balance the dichotomy by keeping a quiet brain by limiting superfluous inputs. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1622147189269-8XTGLMOFJF78VJ12Y6OP/Stillness+is+the+key+3.png Blog - Quiet Mind, Active Leader - The mind is an important and sacred place, keep it clear: Great leaders ask themselves in every moment, is this necessary. They take charge of their information diet and rid themselves of toxic thinking. How many times have each of us experienced moments of great frustration because we just can’t make progress? Most times, our lack of progress is caused by our cloudy, noisy brain. Slow down, think deeply, because what’s essential is often invisible to the eye. The world and our challenges are like muddy water, to see through it we must let things settle. When we have a clear mind, we build stronger and healthier relationships. When things go wrong, humble leaders look to others to assist. When things go sideways and we have great relationships, there will always be people ready to jump in. To keep a clear mind: - Start writing your thoughts, ideas, and lessons down - Cultivate silence for inspiration and solutions - Seek wisdom: The combination of knowledge and experience Transformational leaders know that what makes people wise is the awareness of the fact of their ignorance. Once this is accepted, they read. Reading allows you to learn from the wisest people on earth, why wouldn’t you. Once a leader embarks on this path confidence builds and ego falls away. They become open to the lessons and begin to learn. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1622147498633-N6A8681K8RCCTMA6XSR8/Stillness+is+the+key+4.png Blog - Quiet Mind, Active Leader - Self-aware leaders know to beware of desire and envy: I am often asked what I would tell my 20-year-old self now that I didn’t know back then. The list is incredibly long, but close to the top would be that envy is the most destructive of all passions. When it creeps in, instead of being jealous, explore the work the other person has done to achieve what they have. Then ask if you would want to do the same. If you do, plan and begin. If not, let it go. Many of us do not have a clear understanding of what “enough” is. When you pursue your desires out of envy and jealousy it deprives you of your purpose, peace, and contentment. We all have failings because of our genetics and biology, but our virtues keep our choices on task and living our purpose follows. When you as a leader are secure in yourself, you set the standard for what is enough and not others. True stillness and a quiet mind manifests when you can say, I have enough. If you seek to be happy, which is gained through contentment, why do you choose to never be satisfied and want more. Leaders assess what more actually accomplishes, because the blind need for progress can destroy the joy and learning in the process. Be excited for the start of a new day when you have done the work. You never know the opportunities that will present themselves. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1622147676124-3GV9I1ID0362PIJXOEWC/Stillness+is+the+key+5.png Blog - Quiet Mind, Active Leader - Relationships can cost us a great deal, but we are nothing without them: My successes and failures throughout my Marine Corps and the FBI career can be directly attributed to the quality of relationships I had. Being lucky enough to marry my wife was the most impactful event in my life that secured a better future. The single most important thing to do personally and professionally is to find a partner who compliments you and supports you, who makes you better, and for who you would do the same. Choosing the opposite can be ruin because a life without relationships is meaningless and fragile. Without relationships you suffer a hollow quiet which is different from stillness. Stillness requires others. Leaders know that to have strong relationships you must conquer your anger. Anger clouds the brain and blocks you from enjoying anything accomplished or progress made. Great leaders are fueled by love. Leaders who are driven by anger are not happy, still, or successful. All is one. Leaders act bravely and build a life they don’t need to escape from. They then create the same for others. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1622148145252-VQ5M8CSY2DRNNW9V0L6B/coaching.jpg Blog - Quiet Mind, Active Leader - Looking for personal coaching and training? If you are looking for more information on this content as well as personalized coaching and training, please check out my page and reach out with any questions. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/inspire-truth-with-elicitation monthly 0.5 2021-05-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1621947786208-1F1JXRGVPKKJDXOXKELL/Truth+Detector+1.png Blog - Inspire Truth With Elicitation - Leaders Inspire Truth: For much of my career in the FBI as well as post FBI, I have been reluctant to share the skills, tools, and techniques of elicitation. This reluctance has stemmed from the fact that elicitation is probably the most powerful communication tool available and can seriously compromise folks from malicious individuals. That's until my friend and mentor Jack Schafer recently published his book, "The Truth Detector." Jack’s objective is to inspire truth before a person has time to lie and be deceptive. That is how elicitation is used for good. The language and communication skills in this book focuses on extracting truth free of manipulation. Meanwhile, the person you are speaking with leaves feeling better for having met you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1621947720033-ONOYNC48ILLVSMDPN2NR/Truth+Detector+2.png Blog - Inspire Truth With Elicitation - Elicitation: Setting off on your voyage of veracity. It’s much easier and more reliable to elicit truth than detecting deception. Elicitation is the communication skill required to get people to reveal the truth before they can be deceptive, that’s why it is a truth detector. Humans have been trying to detect lies for thousands of years without consistent repeatable results. Therefore, the communication masters rely upon elicitation. The first step is to create the right environment for elicitation. This is where we strategize organic, sincere trust. We accomplish this by utilizing empathy and rapport. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1621947980739-81BGIRSJ5E0SMKB2XSPO/Truth+Detector+3.png Blog - Inspire Truth With Elicitation - Building rapport: The foundation of elicitation. “When you lose your ego, you win.” You need to establish rapport if you seek to elicit the veracity you desire. Rapport is a bridge that links two people in a positive manner that builds that bridge. There are three behavioral approaches to building the rapport you seek: - Nonverbal signs of openness - Make people feel good about themselves - Become an active listener Here are a few additional active listening techniques that will make a big difference in building your connection: - When someone is talking, concentrate on what they are saying. - Once a person has finished speaking, wait a second or two before responding. - Show nonverbal cues to show the speaker you are interested in what they are saying. - Make a concentrated effort not to interrupt when speakers are speaking. - Use empathetic statements to demonstrate you are listening to the speaker. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1621948096669-1AQI8XH3GOSCE0RJVI3Y/Truth+Detector+4+%281%29.png Blog - Inspire Truth With Elicitation - Utilizing natural human behavior: The quickest and easiest way to elicit truth. The elicitation masters use a “presumptive statement.” People have a natural desire to correct others. Leaders and communication masters use this proactively to entice an ego provoking response. When someone makes a statement that is perceived to be incorrect our ego jumps in to correct the individual. The information provided tends to be the truth. This technique is exceptionally effective when rapport and trust have been established. In tough situations where a person’s guard is likely to be up, to get the truth, don’t ask questions, make statements. Once a presumptive statement is made, people have three choices: - Confirm - Deny - Discount it The challenge of using a presumptive statement is you must be able to get over your own ego and intentionally lower your perceived social status, something our brain rebels against. A master of communication can suspend their ego and elicit truth before deception takes root. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1621948259060-09IZEJ087J2U4GSIK7VB/Truth+Detector+5.png Blog - Inspire Truth With Elicitation - Truth can be an elusive art form: A master truth detector will use their understanding of people when seeking veracity. Consider the following when seeking the truth: - People have a need for recognition. It is an indicator that we are special, and people will often reveal more, proving they are worthy. Others may share more demonstrating that they are deserving. - People have a natural need to gossip and tend to focus on the negative in others. - People are naturally curious. This is the void between what they know and what they want to know. - People have a natural need to reciprocate. When given a gift, either tangible or intangible, we have a great desire to reciprocate. It is stronger between strangers, and stronger after the gesture of good will is made. - People have a hard time keeping secrets. - Most people take pride in what they do to bolster their self-image, they talk freely about their professional accomplishments. - People tend to undervalue the information they possess. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/building-trust-through-empathy monthly 0.5 2021-04-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1619449909305-2UZD9ZNXTP83GZHKNPSH/Building+Trust+Through+Empathy.png Blog - Building Trust Through Empathy - Context is Key: I was a new agent stationed in New York City, when a senior agent on my squad decided to bring me along to meet a foreign spy he had recruited. I was both excited and nervous, not knowing what to expect. I knew we had a list of questions from FBI Headquarters concerning all matters of intelligence and counterintelligence. What surprised me though, were the stops we made along the way. First, we stopped at a Walmart and picked up a few toys and small appliances. Then, we stopped at a grocery store and bought milk, eggs, bread, and candy. Next, we went to a used bookstore and found some children’s books as well as a few ESL books. I was a bit confused and asked what we were doing? The senior agent replied that, “Context is key when building trust.” He asked if I had considered the point of view and the experience of the spy, who was living in a small “safe house” with his young son. That meant that they could not have any outside contact, very limited entertainment and distractions and could possibly be experiencing fear. In order to build the trust needed to protect our national security, we needed to not only understand their context, but we had to act on that context as well. TV shows and movies portray “spy recruiting” as a high-stakes game of manipulation, danger and deception. And all the while, nothing could be further from the truth. You need to have trust in a relationship, whether you are recruiting a spy or even selling a product or service. Trust cannot be achieved without context and understanding the other person’s point of view. You should take the time to be curious about them, their lives, experiences, challenges and priorities. Only then, can you act and achieve trust. Context is the key to successful leadership and all the outcomes we seek, from protecting national security to our professional and personal lives. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1619462775654-ZFBWVLFZ8DCS3JSCAGDG/Author+Spotlight.png Blog - Building Trust Through Empathy - Author Interview You can watch Robin’s interview with Maria here: https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-will-to-lead monthly 0.5 2021-04-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618443342771-711A65L5T4L3NMLAV1IM/obstacle+7.png Blog - The Will To Lead - The Will To Lead: Will is the discipline of the heart and the soul. In my life, nothing challenged my will as much as my time at the United States Naval Academy. With persistence and tenacity, I graduated, went on to be a Marine Corps Officer and then a recruiter of spies for the FBI. As a Midshipman at the Naval Academy, I made many mistakes that caused me to face failure for the first time in my life. It was only after I humbled up and surrendered myself to the truth, that I was able to make the best of the worst. I had to become both resilient and flexible in order to overcome these obstacles that I had created. As these obstacles disappeared, they created opportunities that I was then able to fully embrace. That experience was the first of many humbling moments that I faced in my career. Will sometimes has more to do with surrender than it has to do with strength. Some may think will is about bluster and ambition, but it is actually the ability to make the best of the worst. It is the ability to acknowledge the pain that comes with failure and continue on your path. In order to do this, you must build your inner strength. Your inner strength is built upon the TRUST and the healthy relationships that you have with teachers, mentors and guides in your life. If you think your disadvantages are permanent, you will atrophy. You must always try your best to lean in, build trust and build relationships. This is the key to achieving success, and reaching your potential with your will to lead. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/lga15ubfrtfcnjletw8bl9q41pyf82 monthly 0.5 2021-04-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618163065302-IJBDTO6QJ8ROUAM31WYT/ego.png Blog - Get to Work! - Background: Many of us have been practicing aspects of Stoicism most of our lives without realizing it. Life is filled with great challenges and for one reason or another some never feel victimized by circumstances or events but instead “get to work” when facing them. This is a stoic approach. If we want to move through the challenges thrown at us don’t lament and question why things happen the way they do, instead they ask, “what are we going to do about it.” This is the great gift of Ryan Holiday’s books. He clearly shares not just stoic wisdom but analyzes the great thinkers and most importantly “doers” throughout the ages. Ryan highlights that stoicism is not sitting down and merely thinking about life, but it provides a clear and concise roadmap for life’s challenges. Ryan’s books are some of the best problem-solving guides you will ever read for every aspect of your life. Most importantly, they will calm your brain and bring peace and clarity to your thoughts. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161323617-I9DFKI50NHCSY6L0049N/ego+1.png Blog - Get to Work! - Ego is the Enemy: Think less of yourself and be less invested in the story you tell of yourself and you will be liberated to accomplish the world changing work you have set out to achieve. Our ego is important for our survival, but it can also bring about an unhealthy belief in our own importance. The sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounds of confidence and talent. Ego is our conscious separation from everything of true value and most importantly, others. The tragedy is that if you start believing in your own greatness it is the death of creativity. Ego is the enemy of building, recovering and maintaining our lives. Keep these goals in mind throughout everyday so you can continue to get to work. - Be humble when you have success - Cultivate fortitude so you are not wrecked by failure - Be humble in your aspirations - Be gracious in your success - Be resilient in your failures Remember, ego is stolen, and confidence is earned. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161428765-3VD712ZQETNC5Z2LPVRH/ego+2.png Blog - Get to Work! - Aspire: William Tecumseh Sherman’s (U.S. Civil War general) story of knowing his purpose and suspending his ego is impactful. He had just received his promotion to Brigadier General during the U.S Civil War. He asked President Lincoln to assure him of no more promotions so he would feel confident and sure in his position without the distraction of the politics of promotion. He clearly understood not just his strengths but his purpose. Sherman opined to never give reasons for what you think and do until you must, for after a while maybe a better one comes along. This methodology offers strategic flexibility. People driven by ego rather than a strong sense of purpose will have a much different path and outcome than those who do not. The ability to evaluate one’s own ability is the most important skill of all and without it we never improve and grow. Some reflections: - Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know. - Silence is the respite for the confident and strong. - The ego crosses out what matters and adds what doesn’t. - Being a student places the ego and ambition in someone else’s hands. - The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice. - A true student is like a sponge absorbing and observing, filtering it and latching on to what they can hold while being self-critical and self-motivated. - You can’t learn if you think you already know https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161551904-XYNPYNW3D5SMBQS7K1BJ/ego+3.png Blog - Get to Work! - Don’t be passionate, instead find your purpose: Don’t fall for goal idiocy. Maintain control and deliberate thoughts and don’t be subjugated to passions. Humans require purpose and realism over passion. Passion is form over function and purpose is function, function, function. What is truly needed every day is: - Clarity - Deliberateness - Methodology determination Passion often masks a weakness and is a poor substitute for: - Discipline - Mastery - Strength - Purpose - Perseverance Follow the canvas strategy: It’s not about doing things to make people look good. It’s about providing support to make people be good. When you clear a path for the people above you, you will be clearing a path eventually for yourself. This is exactly how to fulfill the adage of helping yourself by helping others. The person who clears the path for others ultimately chooses its direction. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161662468-5T8KFA6B7UXCBVSU5IAR/ego+4.png Blog - Get to Work! - Restrain yourself: Restraint is a difficult but critical skill. Never do anything to undermine your legacy. Get out of your own head and don’t feast on your own thoughts. The danger of pride is that even in real accomplishments it is a distraction and diluter. If you are putting in the work, you won’t have to cheat. Don’t boast, there is nothing in it for you. Pride works against you and causes other people to detest you too. When pride kills relationships, your opportunity for true success dies with it. If you can’t swallow your pride you can’t lead. We must prepare for pride, kill it early or it will kill what we aspire to. A great question to ask yourself, “What am I missing right now that a humble person might see?” To take an idea and manifest it for others requires work. Your personal brand and reputation are not built on what you are going to do. To get where we want to go isn’t about brilliance it is about tremendous effort. There is no success without toil. For everything that comes next ego is the enemy. No one ever said that monstrous ego sure was worth it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161778800-COVGAIW477QNFD689TYB/ego+5.png Blog - Get to Work! - Success: Can you handle success, or will it be the worst thing that ever happened to you? Always stay a student. Humility engenders learning because it beats back the blinders ego puts on. The test for the humble is they consistently observe and listen. Don’t tell yourself a story of who you think you are and what you think you will do. Stop with the stories and focus on the task at hand. Facts are better than stories and image. Keep your identity small and keep it about the work and principles behind it. Continue working on what got us here because it is the only thing to keep us here. Next, define what’s important to you. To know what you like is the beginning of wisdom. Ego leads to envy and it rots the bones of people big and small. Think about what’s truly important to you and take steps to forsake the rest. With success and power come the greatest delusions, entitlement, control and paranoia. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161886420-TKMI8C5XOLW3QF09MECX/ego+6.png Blog - Get to Work! - Managing yourself: It’s not enough to have great qualities we should also have the management of them. People who struggle to lead themselves will struggle to lead others. When we struggle to lead ourselves the “disease of me” may set in. As success builds so may the disease of me. When people begin to feel special and better than others their circle of trust begins to dissolve and without healthy strong relationships all success fades. Great leaders know that we never earn the right to be greedy especially at the expense of others. The disease of me can corrupt the most innocent in their climb. Meditate on the immensity of everything and become aware of your actual place. Our ego blocks us from the beauty and mystery of the world. To be successful, maintain your sobriety and remember that fear is a bad advisor. Our ego clouds the mind when it needs to be clear, and tasks are never solved with charisma. Avoid the undisciplined pursuit of more by remaining humble and retaining your sense of purpose. Ultimately, your road to victory goes through a place called failure. When failure does arrive, our ego tends to slow its departure. The only way out is through. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618161982060-D9VSLATZWQA2HH3L8R7Y/ego+7.png Blog - Get to Work! - Alive time or deadtime: This moment is not your life, but it is a moment in your life. How will you use it? The effort is enough. If you knew you wouldn’t be rewarded for the work your ego prevents you from starting. The less attached to outcomes the better. In order to accomplish this, try changing your definition of success to peace of mind from the effort not the accolades. That you made the effort to become the best you were capable of is the true pursuit. The world is indifferent from what we humans want. Hard things are broken by hard things. The bigger the ego the greater the fall. The world can show you the truth, but no one can force you to accept it. Face the symptoms cure the disease. Draw the line: “It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character”, Marcus Aurelius - Ego kills what we love and sometimes us - Most trouble is temporary unless you make it not so - The only real failure is abandoning your principles - If your reputation can’t handle a few blows it wasn’t worth anything in the first place - Maintain your own scorecard - Vain men only hear praise - Anyone can win but not everyone can be the best possible version of themselves https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618162138725-M37H97J6IBY9ZBZ8CTS6/ego+8.png Blog - Get to Work! - Always love: Trust, healthy relationships and partnerships are the bedrocks upon which all life thrives. It is all about love, not hate. Trying to destroy something out of hate and ego often ensures it will live forever. Ask yourself, where has hatred or rage gotten anyone? People learn from their failures and challenges and not often from their success. Create your path to wisdom through observation, study and overcoming challenges. When unconsciously choosing between wisdom or ignorance, ego is the swing vote. Take the vote away for your path to wisdom. Push through failure with strength not ego. We do not reach our potential with hope but with our training and putting in the work. Any fool can learn from experience. The trick is to learn from other people’s experience. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618162520578-54QQERWSFKNW9VPH9QGY/online+learning.jpg Blog - Get to Work! - Online Training and Coaching Check out the People Formula Online Training Academy. Use coupon code: peopleformula2021 and receive 25% off any online training course. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1618162286002-LQGLRYZ7MT9HD7YG2MJZ/The+People+Formula+Bookstore.png Blog - Get to Work! - “Ego is the Enemy” by Ryan Holiday To purchase Ryan’s book or any other book on Robin’s reading list, click the link to the bookstore. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/adversity-introduces-us-to-ourselves monthly 0.5 2021-03-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616978950894-SD27VPWVB30WG8CM2HFI/Extreme+Ownership+1.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Background: I came across “Extreme Ownership” in the first year it was released and didn’t actually dive into it until last year. I foolishly thought, “Hey, the authors were SEALS, I was a Marine, they probably are just sharing what I already have heard.” Like many humbling moments in my life, I didn’t know as much as I thought I did. Both Jocko and Leif do an amazing job of relating not just their INTENSE combat experience, but they share those experiences from multiple optics and levels since they both held different leadership positions at the same time, with the same task unit, with the same mission. Next, they provide specific real world business scenarios where they apply their leadership skills and doctrines, they learned from the battlefield to solve the challenges the rest of the world faces every day. “Extreme Ownership” was such an excellent book that moving onto “The Dichotomy of Leadership” was the natural choice. Again, the book does not disappoint and does a deeper dive on the topic that was covered in the first. My humble thanks to both Jocko and Leif for their selfless service and sacrifice to our country but also their willingness and ability to share their humbling lessons with the rest of the world in an effort to make it a better place. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616978877483-XA24O9ROJJCLU619QRKT/Extreme+Ownership+2.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - “Extreme Ownership” Winning the war within “Great leaders form a circle of safety for their people.” “On any team, in any organization, all responsibility for success and failure rests with the leader. The leader must own everything in his or her world.” Jocko Willink The concept of extreme ownership is really one of extreme leadership. For example, three pillars of leadership that set the course for leaders are: - Leaders accomplish the mission, goals and priorities - Leaders create an environment of safety and trust - Leaders are a resource for the success of their people without expectation of reciprocity When leaders exercise extreme ownership / leadership they acknowledge that each of these pillars is their responsibility and when any falter, it is THEIR responsibility and no one else’s. The war within can be our own ego and vanity that wants to push blame away from us and make excuses so that we save face. Unfortunately for the ego driven leader, nowhere in the three pillars does it say a leader will be infallible as well as a “scapegoat” finder. “No bad teams, only bad leaders.” Leif Babin There are some ego-driven leaders that have enjoyed success on their rise to their positions. When a leader believes their position was gained by themselves and not with a team of great people, they will often blame others when situations go sideways, and outcomes fall short of their expectations. In these moments leaders must remember to OWN IT. There are no bad teams, only bad leaders. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616978907104-NACFK3VN4QYXIX679SL4/Extreme+Ownership+3.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Laws of combat “Complexity kills focus” These fundamental laws of combat are simple to remember, and the concepts are straight forward. They keep people alive on the battlefield and they create a circle of trust inside organizations and allows them to overcome any challenges. Cover and move: Simply put, this is teamwork. As one element of the team seeks to move forward, the other elements watch for threats and obstacles and stand ready to support. A great leader watches, observes and coordinates. Simple: When plans are too complicated failure is inevitable. Plans must be communicated in as simple, clear and concise manner as possible. If the team doesn’t understand, the leader has failed simplicity and must correct their actions. Prioritize and execute: “Relax, look around, make a call.” It is very easy to become overwhelmed with too many tasks. When this happens, a leader must take a step back, assess the highest priority challenge and then execute a plan. Decentralized command: Humans are not capable of leading / managing more than six to ten people, particularly in times of stress. A leader must ensure each subordinate leader understands clearly the overall mission, ultimate goal and the leader’s intent. Then the leader must empower people to move forward and execute. Jocko and Leif go on to explain in “The Dichotomy of Leadership” the balance a leader must make with each of these principles. When a leader recognizes that they have drifted too far in one direction it is imperative to not only correct but ensure you don’t overcorrect so you continue to have a problem. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979083083-HQQZ7S5Y9QU7N9UYZOEB/Extreme+Ownership+4.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Sustaining victory Plan: What’s the mission? Leaders must first understand then impart clear directives for the team, up and down the chain of command: Simply, this comes down to ensuring situational awareness of EVERYONE so people understand not only the “why” but have the information they need to make decisions. Decisiveness amid uncertainty: Leaders very rarely have all the information they need to make decisions when things are chaotic. Leaders must make decisions with the best information they have regardless. Continued movement and the ability to adjust as more information is learned is critical to success. Discipline equals freedom: Leaders must walk the fine line between the dichotomy of leadership between discipline and freedom. As with all dichotomies a leader must find the balance: - Confident but not cocky - Courageous but not foolhardy - Competitive yet a gracious loser - Attentive to details yet not obsessed by them - Strength with endurance - Leader and follower - Humble not passive - Aggressive not overbearing - Quiet not silent - Calm but not robotic - Close but not too close to those in their charge - Exercise extreme ownership and decentralized command https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979209591-JLD4MXCXIHUZS9HAUG4Q/Dichotomy+1.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Dichotomy of Leadership: Balancing People, the ultimate dichotomy “The foremost requirement of leadership is humility.” most impactful and compelling aspect of leadership is the closeness, empathy and compassion a leader has for his or her people. Without the strong bonds of leadership, teams, organizations and businesses will never be able to reach their full potential. Yet, when a leader loses the balance, they will also fail. From my first days at the Naval Academy to my years in the Marine Corps these principles were constantly and consistently reinforced. When leaders find the balance, amazing results ensue because a circle of trust has been created. This circle allows everyone in it to feel safe, protected by each other and supported. These are the facets that allows innovation, flexibility and resilience to come forth to overcome any obstacle or threat. Jocko and Leif begin by describing the ultimate dichotomy. To be willing to trade your life with those in your care and yet send them into harms way. Building strong relationships yet knowing there is a job to do. If you care too much for your people, the mission fails. If you care too much for the mission your team falls apart. A failure of a leader to balance the mission with the people will result in the failure of all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979312210-RX8R2ZDRA0TW5EQTU9EN/Dichotomy+2.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Own it all but empower others Jocko and Leif highlight that “extreme owning” can lead to micromanaging. Leaders must find the balance. This is the balance between ownership and the practice of decentralized command or empowering your people. This balance is critical to the success of any organization or team because micromanagement kills innovation. The dichotomy and challenge is that if leaders empower too much with a “hands off” mentality teams can think too broadly and miss the objective entirely, act randomly and duplicate efforts result because of a lack of coordination. Warning signs of micromanagement: - No initiative - Does not seek solutions to problems - Even in emergencies will not take action - Bold actions become rare - Creativity grinds to a halt - The team stays in their own lane - An overall sense of passivity and failure to react Too hands off warning signs: - Lack of vision in what the team is trying to do and how to do it - Lack of coordination between team members - Initiative oversteps bounds of authority - Failure to coordinate out of ignorance - The team is focused on the wrong priority - There are too many people trying to lead https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979465892-M8SHU344FM3UHGJAU9D2/Dichotomy+3.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Resolute but not overbearing – When to mentor when to fire: “Build leadership capital” of the most important resources a leader has is their “leadership capital.” This is the trust, goodwill, influence and ultimately the finite amount of power a leader has on those who follow. Leadership capital is built over time by being focused on the mission and the most important understanding and conveying of “why” to the team. Leadership capital can be cashed in from time to time as challenging situations present themselves but a leader that goes to the well too often will find that well empty and find themselves worse than when they began. Being firm but not overbearing is a dichotomy to master if you wish to build your leadership capital. Jocko and Leif provide a great example of when to mentor and when to fire someone as well. This dichotomy is also a delicate balancing act but can continue to enhance the leadership capital if mastered. Most under performers don’t need to be fired; they need to be led. If this delicate balance is not maintained either the mission or the wellbeing of the team will be compromised. The closeness of close coaching relationships can make this even more challenging. Documentation of specifics, free from opinion and hearsay are critical to the process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979580888-SUXM3LASALVRAT5NWBF0/Dichotomy+4.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Balancing the Mission: Train hard but train smart “Every leader must be humble, or they will get humbled.” Hard training is the solemn duty of trainers and leaders every day. A key function of leaders is to train, mentor and pass on lessons learned to those under them. The key dichotomy in training is to know when you have reached the point of diminishing returns. From this point, the most important part of all the training is the debriefing. Do not even begin to train unless you have time for the debriefing. Don’t think of engaging without training. The strategic goal of training is to build capable leaders at every level. Train hard but train smart, there is no growth in the comfort zone. There is no excuse for prioritizing training last because training is the most effective way to build performance. High performance is built through focusing on fundamentals, realism and repetition. Ultimately, training is only as good as the instructor providing it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979739822-V9NFP1O6JN6Y6EAO7QF3/Dichotomy+5.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Aggressive not reckless, disciplined not rigid Jocko and Leif use a great example of understanding what guidelines and standard operating procedures (SOP) are for. They are for the perfect world and a starting point. They are to be adhered to but not rigidly when faced with the common sense of morals, ethics, law and situational awareness. The challenge of leaders is to know how to balance the dichotomy. When the guidelines prevent a leader from having the situational awareness to continue to lead and make mission focused and safe decisions it is time to adjust. Leaders must hold people accountable but also not hold their hands. Leaders must understand the “why” from their superiors and convey the “why” to their people so they can take the actions necessary to execute. Leaders then spot check to ensure the execution is staying on point, supporting the mission and staying safe. Leaders can then step back and allow teams to self-regulate. An effective tool for leaders to encourage followers to self-regulate is to show how an individual’s actions negatively affect the whole team. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616979991778-LAU91QB1P01QSDAVDUIJ/Dichotomy+6.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Balancing yourself; a leader and a follower The weakest form of leadership is to win an argument based on your rank or position. Leaders must be willing followers as well, regardless of their title and position. A leader’s failure to follow creates an antagonistic attitude up the chain of command and undermines the mission and hurts the team. Jocko and Leif highlight their motto of “There is no growth in the comfort zone.” Good leaders are rare and bad leaders are common. Do you actually know which one you are? The first step is to recognize your failures as a follower. Here are three things to strive for with every boss and ensure your actions and words support them: - They trust you - They value and seek your opinions - They give you what you need to accomplish your mission and let you execute. Whether you believe your boss to be good or bad, in order to be effective, you must have these three attributes. If you don’t, what aren’t YOU doing to achieve them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616980100066-V4TEFXYRIKJSQGICRVKV/Dichotomy+7.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Plan but don’t overplan; humble not passive Jocko and Leif explain that you cannot plan for every contingency. The dichotomy is that under planning can compromise the mission and overplanning can cause even greater problems. It is the leader’s responsibility to account for contingencies and plan the best they can. It is the leader’s responsibility to mitigate the risk you can control. The challenge is understanding what you can and can’t control. The greatest risks can arise from previous successes because they can create overconfidence. For this reason, leaders must remain humble. The dichotomy of humble not passive is critical for leaders who struggle thinking that humility is equated with soft-willed or meek. Being humble means seeing past even your own teams need and see how to support the greater good or mission. Humility must also be balanced when knowing when to make a stand. If a leader has built their leadership capital and carefully pick when and where to make a stand the likelihood of success is much greater. Take heed however, this is the rarest of exceptions and not the rule. Staying humble is the key to building trust with the chain of command and others and a critical element for mission success. Blame casting and excuse making only creates more. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1616980199578-BDSO5ARO6KVF9PDDZRSL/Dichotomy+8.png Blog - Adversity introduces us to ourselves - Focused but detached “Adversity introduces us to ourselves.” Leaders must maintain the bigger picture. An organization does well only in the things the boss checks but doesn’t micromanage. Leaders do not obsess over details but are attentive to them. The best indicator of when a leader should pull back and detach is when they begin to hit walls and obstacles. If a leader doesn’t know what is going on, they can’t lead. This is the final dichotomy, be close enough to know what is going on but pulled back enough to see what is going on. It is the immense challenge of leadership that makes the reward of success so fulfilling. If you care for your people and your mission ahead of yourself, you will win at all costs. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/the-true-price-of-leadership-is-putting-the-needs-of-others-above-your-own monthly 0.5 2021-03-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908017813-NSKT9RKYBPRB873WIXP0/Leaders+Eat+Last+-1.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Background: “Leaders Eat Last” first caught my eye a few years ago because of the title. As a veteran Marine Corps officer, it is a concept I knew well but took me awhile to embody. Back in 1993 while on my first deployment on a field exercise the Marine Corps cooks set up a hot meal for our unit. The senior officers promptly organized all the other officers along the serving line. Not only did we eat last, but we served our Marines ourselves. At the time, understood the action but it would still be some time before I could put the concept into practice. The words, “leaders put others first” are truly just words until you are forced to make the choice of, “them or me?” It took me a few more years and a few humbly moments to be faced with that very dilemma. The situation wasn’t life or death, but it was a moral and ethical one as well as potentially career ending for me. I made the choice to put my Marine first. It became my first TRUE leadership experience. From that point forward the words had meaning, and those situations became very recognizable in the future. Simon does a fantastic job of not only capturing the Marine Corps ethos but expanding it into many aspects of everyday leadership for all. The book focusses strongly on the bedrock of leadership, TRUST. Simon offers that organizations have never been managed out of a crisis but led. The true price of leadership is putting the needs of others above your own. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908276760-5S19G6O8JXK525117T2I/download.jpeg Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - About the Author: Simon Sinek is an unshakable optimist who believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Simon's WHY is to inspire people to do what inspires them so that, together, each of us can change our world for the better. With a vision to change the way businesses think, act, and operate, Simon and his team work with leaders and organizations in nearly every industry to help transform company culture and create a better working world. As a trained ethnographer, Simon has discovered remarkable patterns about how the greatest leaders and organizations think, act, and communicate. He is fascinated by the people and organizations that make the greatest, lasting impact on the world. He has devoted his life to sharing his thinking, and leading a movement to inspire people to do the things that inspire them. Simon may be best known for popularizing the concept of WHY in his first Ted Talk in 2009. It has since become one of the most watched talks of all time on TED.com, with 37+ million views. Simon is a bestselling author and shares his ideas in the books Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together Is Better, Find Your Why, and The Infinite Game. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908495089-I6XYXA00FQT0MC4G3YLC/Part+1.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part One: Our need to feel safe The book starts with a compelling story of an A-10 Warthog pilot in the Afghanistan war following the events of 9/11/2001. Simon describes the pilot’s unrelenting compulsion to pout his own life in jeopardy in order to protect the Special Forces operators pinned down on the ground because of empathy. Empathy is the single greatest asset that enabled him to do his job. The emphasis throughout part one of the book is that employees are people too and that great organizations understand and embrace that in order to earn trust, you must extend trust. Truly human leadership protects an organization from the internal rivalry that can shatter a culture. The human mind is still hard wired to perceive threats to our safety and opportunities for prosperity. When we struggle to feel a sense of belonging and being valued at work, we inevitably bring that same struggle home with us and it permeates every aspect of our lives. Companies that thrive do not see people as commodities to drive revenue they see money as the commodity to help grow their people. Research has shown that having a job that we hate can be as detrimental as not having a job at all. When people at work care about how we feel, stress levels decrease, and a healthier more prosperous person emerges and engages. Simon provides a great example of the transformation that takes place at Marine Corps Boot Camp that I have personally witnessed. Young Marine Recruits arrive at training feeling insecure and only responsible for themselves. When they graduate, they feel a deep commitment and responsibility for their fellow Marines and those Marines feel the same for them. This feeling of belonging and shared values and deep sense of empathy dramatically enhances trust, cooperation and problem solving. As a result, they are better equipped to face danger because they fear no danger from each other and form a circle of safety. Challenge: Whether you are in a leadership position or not, how safe do you feel where you work. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908587866-RFUBOQS5LHXZ2ETG8MOZ/Part+2.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Two: Powerful forces When we are focused internally for survival, we ultimately miss opportunities outside. Genetically we know that it is in our best interest to cooperate, and our brains reward us for this behavior. As humans, we will always protect our own and we take trust extremely seriously. This is one reason that treason is often treated as seriously as murder. Ultimately, the more familiar we are with each other the stronger our bonds. Simon does a great job explaining the four chemicals that reward our body for the actions we take: - Endorphins - Dopamine - Serotonin - Oxytocin Endorphins and dopamine are the reason we are driven to hunt, gather and achieve, but it is the selfless chemicals of serotonin and oxytocin that make us feel valued. They keep our circle of safety strong. With these two our bonds of trust and friendship increases and our stress declines. Our desire to serve others flourishes. These great binding chemicals also boost our immune systems. Those who work hardest to see others succeed will always be seen as the leader and is also a prerequisite for leadership. When leaders create safety and trust internally communication and transparency skyrocket and productivity follow exponentially. This is how great leaders gear their organizations for success. Unless someone is truly willing to sacrifice to serve others, there are no true leaders. Leadership is a choice to serve, without any rank or authority. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908731144-TDJBC9RIHDXAR2MQLIQD/Part+3.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Three: Reality The reality is that systems are never perfect and humans place trust in people, not systems. We look for leaders to do the right thing and to know when to break the rules to keep us safe. People trust people, not rules. Our intelligence gives us ideas and instructions, but it is our ability to cooperate that actually helps us get those things done. Trust and relationships are the bedrock of all of life. It’s not how smart people in organizations are but how well they work together that is the measure of success. Nothing on Earth of value was built by one person. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908821943-EE19JZPE2LVE6SWHKWZD/Part+4.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Four: How we got here Maintaining the focus on our people rather than the bottom line is critical for the success of any organization. Simon discusses the generational shift from protecting our way of life to the way we prefer to live. Serving ourselves rather than a greater purpose took over in the 70s. There was a shift and we started to think of both things and people as disposable, thereby destroying the circle of trust and the short-term dopamine hits replaced our long-term relationship oxytocin. When we start protecting money rather than protecting people the behavior ultimately destroys trust. When leaders eat first and gain more, they share less. Lost was the notion of “ancient tribal hospitality.” This collapse happens when there is an unbalance of focusing on ourselves. Ultimately, the more we have, the less we value what we have, and dehumanization follows. Nature will always add a correction if people do not. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908913220-TO9XL8PVFYNFQAE4XVZ3/Part+5.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Five: The abstract challenge Simon uses the term abstraction to describe the preoccupation and disconnectedness human beings can exhibit for each other when greater distances or numbers of people are involved. The more abstract people are the more susceptible to inhumanity they are. If we are to counter the potential devastating effects abstraction can have it is imperative that both individuals and companies uphold a moral code of conduct. Personalization is the key to keeping our circles of trust strong and countering the abstraction effect. Here are five rules to assist in managing abstraction: - Keep it real; Bring people together - Keep it manageable; 150 is the ideal top number in a group - Meet the people you help; It’s imperative we see the positive impact of what we do, it increases results exponentially - Give them time, not just money; Money is an abstraction and has no real value like time. Focus solely on others to build trust - Be patient When groups have a destructive imbalance people focus more on the “score” and not on the people they will inevitably collapse. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614908992768-NNWP93E6C0X9F8NOBKP0/Part+6.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Six: Destructive abundance It is bad cultures that breed bad leaders. Great cultures embrace all ideas and never throw one out, even though the idea might not fit the current challenge. Simon tells the story of the “sticky note.” The original goal was to create a new super strong adhesive and it fell really short. The company, 3M, held onto the idea and a few years later another employee had a need the lesser adhesive fit and the sticky note was born. The goal of every leader should be to provide no specific orders. They give directions and intent and allow others to figure out what to do and how to get it done. The responsibility of everyone is to not do what you are told, instead what is right. During Marine Corps Officer Candidate School, they focus and evaluate candidates for integrity. Integrity is about being honest not just when we agree and it is convenient for us, but when we disagree, and it might not serve us personally as well. A people first attitude and commitment to integrity are at the core of Marine Corps culture. One of the first lessons I learned in the Marine Corps was this quote, “Mission first, people always.” Building trust is nothing more complicated that telling the truth, being transparent and humble always. Leaders must be present in order to be effective. The Marine Corps calls this “eyeball leadership.” When we become disconnected from those we serve, we inevitably become more self-serving. Cooperation doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing it means working together to serve the common good. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614909150382-Q32D7FLLCIOCRWBIA86P/Part+7.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Seven: A society of addicts The addiction to self and social media is much like the addiction to alcohol. Many attempt to find strength from alcohol and the short-term dopamine hits they both produce instead of the long-term positive effects of relationships with the related serotonin and oxytocin release they both produce. The cultural shift from service to profit fueled this short-term addiction. Simon discusses the shift in news coverage and the related regulation that fueled the shift from news to inform to profit with the 1987 elimination of the fairness doctrine. The networks could then give their own perspective on the news rather than being mandated to give a balanced account in the public interest. The drive to be first became more important than to inform the public. The drive to win should not proceed the need to serve in any leader. This addiction has a terrible ability to enable us to lose sight of reality. Based on this fact, the circle of safety to protect the country has been dismantled over time. Adding to the challenge is the amount of abundance we currently have compared to past generations and it has impacted the current younger generations in the workplace. Our amount of abundance and access to information and resources instantaneously has created the impression that we can multitask much better than past generations. In a Stanford study they proved that to be false. Multitaskers actually remembered less and made more mistakes than those who don’t multitask and focus on one challenge at a time. The study demonstrated that multitaskers were worse at analytical reasoning and simply better at being distracted. This is our current distraction and addiction, and it is harmful to our wellbeing. This addiction to media is the same as any other biological addiction and is the reason that Simon invokes many tenants of Alcoholics Anonymous as a path forward to breaking the destructive habits we have formed. It is only the feelings of true safety and relationships that move us up the mountain to our summit. There is no app to fix the problem of the need for human interaction for our coping strategies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1614909256152-NGB6MRGT56OLZMHJSQ0D/Part+8.png Blog - The True Price of Leadership is Putting the Needs of Others Above Your Own - Part Eight: Becoming a leader Simon paraphrases Alcoholics Anonymous step 12, “Service to Others” as a great cure for our addiction to dopamine and the short-lived benefits it gives us. Both serotonin and oxytocin are critical for us overcoming our addictions, whether they are substance abuse or our electronic devices. The best way to get both of these is through acts of service and sacrifice. Our circles of trust must be in person as much as we can and not virtual if we are to perfectly form our circle of safety. Consider that when we are asked about our best day of work that we have had, the typical response is not the day we were given a raise or promotion, but it was a time when we banded together to overcome a tough challenge through mutual shared suffering and comradeship. This is one of the driving factors that makes military units such as the Marine Corps rich with a circle of safety. There has been great amounts of shared suffering. Both my experiences in the Marine Corps as well as my time in New York City with the FBI during 9/11/2001 created the same rich shared suffering effects that bonded me to the people I shared them with. People and organizations typically do not function nearly as well when they have abundance. It is during times of scarcity of resources that makes us bond together and brings about not only greater cooperation but much greater innovation. An effective thought it to consider profit as a fuel for innovation rather than the destination. Humans have thrived because we are inspired to serve others and not ourselves. All we need are leaders to give us a good reason to commit ourselves to each other. Empathy is something we owe to everyone if we want to call ourselves a leader. Leadership is not a license to do less it is a responsibility to do more and a commitment to human beings. The self-centered leader creates a rollercoaster of success and failure and relationship and safety focused leaders create stability. Many of the changes you implement are useless unless you do them consistently. Ultimately, great leaders find great pride when their people achieve things others didn’t think they could. https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/empathy-the-greatest-driver-of-innovation monthly 0.5 2025-01-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396287033-R7DHDVBXTBQY56OELQZA/People+Formula+Book+Study+%233.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - The People Formula Book Study # Three “Hook Point: How to Stand Out in a 3-Second World By: Brendan Kane Background: Brendan Kane’s latest book forced me to shake the rust that accumulated in my brain that I didn’t know was there. “Hook Point” came to my attention from a friend who had read it and said it transformed his thinking regarding his marketing outreach. GOOD GRIEF! He was right! Brendan Kane and his “entrepreneur growth bible” will help you master the art of grabbing attention quickly. Brendan emphasizes the key to success is to be genuine, loyal, engaged and supportive of your clients / followers. This supportive mindset coupled with the ability to adapt to shifts in consumer attention are the keys to prosperity for all. Each chapter is a treasure trove of actionable information and resources for developing your own “Hook Point” as well as sharing it with the broadest audience possible. Brendan offers that brands are doomed if they make themselves the spotlight. Instead, bring value to your audience. “Hook Point” will enable you to become a leader of transformation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396381420-QQWCK9WYD0SY0UTO8C12/Brendan+Photo.jpeg Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - About the Author: Brendan Kane is an out of the box thinker for Fortune 500 corporations, brands, and celebrities. He thrives on helping his clients systematically engage new audiences that reward relevant content, products, and services with their attention and spend. Brendan’s greatest strength is unlocking value. He transforms complexity into simplicity with tools and methods that amplify growth and enable execution. Starting his career at Lakeshore Entertainment, Brendan oversaw all aspects of their interactive media strategy. He worked on sixteen films that generated a worldwide gross of $685 million and pioneered the first-ever influencer campaign to effectively promote Lakeshore’s movies. Brendan went on to build social media applications and digital platforms for celebrity clients such as Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Michael Strahan, supermodel Adriana Lima, and pro skateboarder Ryan Sheckler. He also served as vice president of digital for Paramount Pictures and helped scale one of the largest social optimization firms in the world, that worked with brands such as Disney, Fox, NBC, Netflix, Xbox, LinkedIn, and many notable Fortune 100 companies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396448325-2JBIYVV7P42J5PZI0RNY/HP+Chap+1.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 1: Meet hook point, your new secret weapon A hook point can come in many forms and is attached to an authentic and compelling story that builds trust and credibility while providing value. Hook points can be used both online and offline and are meant to grab an audience’s attention in the shortest time possible. The chapter, like the rest, has great examples that start your brain working immediately. My greatest challenge of the chapter was to stop modifying and creating my own content and keep focused taking notes on the book. The chapter is an idea generator that will immediately make you feel deficient yet energized to begin the challenge of creating your own hook points. Brendan continually emphasizes that a hook point needs to stay true to who you are as a brand and he provides many great examples of companies that have done that well and thrived and those who haven’t and perished. Brendan’s analysis forces you to dig deep in yourself and your own brand and how you present it to the world. He offers that hook points need to constantly evolve as markets change and become saturated. A great hook point can change the world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396530679-AK1AQIDPAUBQ2T3AY5VN/Chap+2.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 2: Tesla, the Blair Witch, and your guide to creating a perfect hook point “Hook points subvert expectations, grab attention and give a new perspective on a familiar topic.” Creating a perfect hook point starts with the question: How can I solve my audiences specific pain point or problem and what is an outcome my audience is seeking that they have yet to find?” This chapter commences the process that continues throughout the book. To create hook points you really need to understand your audience at a deep level and the challenges they have. The next step is to think in terms of the resources, products and services you have that can solve those priorities and challenges. A great hook point combines those elements and presents it in a unique way in order to capture the attention of your audience so you can bring value to them. Brendan continually emphasizes the importance of staying audience / client focused and bringing solutions into their lives. He reminds us that you can’t tell a story people have heard 100 times. You have to find out what makes you unique and relevant in other people’s lives. Dig deep to give a new perspective or outlook on a familiar topic. Here are just a few of the numerous strategies and techniques Brendan offers for creating your hook points: - Use as few words as possible - Remain true to you and your brand - Make people think differently and subvert expectations - Doesn’t make people think too hard - Doesn’t make people think too little - Can be grasped quickly - Creates curiosity - Offers a solution to a pain point People love to buy but hate being sold to. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396642405-G821C8LPC8D8KI4GCQQ8/Chap+3.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 3: 60,000,000,000 messages a day: How to fight your way through the noise. “Provide value for your audience with media created just for them.” Brendan continues to emphasize the importance of maintaining your focus on your audience and creating imagery to stop them from scrolling past your post. This is about using hook points in your digital content and videos. Brendan describes the “picture superiority effect” and how people would rather look at an image than read. Brendan discusses in fantastic detail how the media-based websites work, use algorithms and many other technical details that can best be understood if you check out one of the many great resources he offers on his blog: www.brendanjkane.com/bkblog. Brendan uses many examples of how not to be boring and deliver content at the right pace. In order to capture attention, fight your way through the noise you have to create imagery that is satisfying in three seconds. The imagery must be: - Satisfying to watch - Moving at the right pace - Linear in delivery https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396728176-0ZF0G4GP6666M8P8384E/Chap+4.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 4: Become president and save the planet: Mastering the art of storytelling “Communication isn’t about you, it’s about who you are speaking to.” One of the most important facets of effective storytelling is authenticity. An effective strategy that Brendan suggests is utilizing the Process Communication Model (PCM). The PCM identifies six types of vocabularies used by individuals as their preference. We are all a blend of all six types, but we tend to lead with one consistently as well as look for the same when someone is communicating with us: - Thinkers look for LOGIC - Persisters speak to VALUES - Harmonizers resonate with FEELINGS and COMPASSION - Imaginers use IMAGINATION as their currency - Rebels enjoy HUMOR - Promoters use CHARM Brendan offers that when crafting your communications insert vocabularies that can speak to each type in order to communicate with the largest audience. The key to authenticity is to ensure congruence between the message as well as the emotion. The theme of a follower focused strategy persists with Brendan observing that when you build a loving relationship with your audience you will build better stories and touch more people’s hearts. Lastly, Brendan provides four steps to creating great copy: - Ask a “yes” question - Reveal your expertise - Call out your personal discovery - Send them to do something https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396845326-U8E75W1JJIYOYIPRRFHW/Chap+5.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 5: How to avoid prison time. A master class in authenticity, trust and credibility “You have to know what you are authentically good at in order to succeed.” The chapter focusses on understanding your companies “why?” Brendan offers that customers don’t buy what you make they buy what you believe. He goes on to suggest reading Simon Sinek’s book, “Start with Why.” Meeting people organically, providing value and connecting with them authentically builds enough trust and credibility to gain new potential business opportunities. Continue to set clear expectations and be honest with yourself and others. Brendan does an excellent job of explaining the power of saying “No” and to only take on projects that speak to you. Often times doing so will actually create greater demand. Brendan generously quoted seven of my techniques to build trust in a meeting from an article written by Eric Barker: - Nonjudgmental validation - Focus on the other person - Listen with your full presence - Ask about the other person’s challenges - Establish a time constraint - Smile and open ventral displays Seek clarification to avoid manipulation https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396927608-O6EE9IWWGFESCTFB80XR/Chap+6.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 6: Learn to listen, listen to learn “Don’t focus on what you want to say, rather on what people want to hear.” The chapter is about “the gold mine that lies between your ears.” Brendan Kane offers some great “brain” strategies to keep your mind and ideas active and productive while maintaining flexibility while anchoring in your brand. He stresses the importance of listening to and observing client responses to your presentation on the fly and adjusting as needed. A powerful adjustment you can make before entering a meeting is to imagine how you will be a resource for their success. Maintain your own emotional stability and bring your best self into a meeting helps you listen more intently. The chapter challenge, “A question a day keeps the pain away.” - What are your most important goals and objectives? - What are your obstacles to achieving these goals? - What are your organization’s pain points? - What are your biggest pain points in your current position? Then ask them, “If I can solve this problem would it be helpful?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613396997391-UAER0SZ6V8YAZSU9TMHF/Chap+7.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 7: Take everything I have – it’s yours for free: How to accelerate demand for your brand. “The more value you give the more value you get.” Fantastic chapter on focusing on the value you offer and not the sale. Brendan offers when you help people personally, they are more likely to trust you. The key is to expect nothing in return. Business is founded on relationships and the ability to create and maintain them is essential. Ninety nine percent of job seekers fail because they focus solely on their own needs during the interview and not what value they bring to the organization. Here are a few key concepts Brendan offers throughout the chapter: - Every industry is the service industry - Speak in terms of the service the person will receive and how they will prosper - Connect, build relationships and provide value - Don’t focus of selling your service, focus on how to provide value with your service Chapter challenge, the Fulfilling Needs Exercise: - Take ten minutes to write down all the things you are good at, personal and professional. - Prior to your next meeting or interview keep these things in mind and think strategically how these skills can be of service to the interviewer / organization https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613397050962-AFOX3CT0QMGPQGBXV8VI/Chap+8.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 8: From hook to scale, the secret to 1.6 billion in 48 months “Don’t try to create traffic, go where it already exists.” The chapter offers many insightful ideas and creates what I term “vectors” for revenue and idea streams. Brendan suggests that it is easier to find people than to attract their attention. Don’t start from scratch, go to where the people already are. Speaking engagements drives business and a key to getting more of them is to provide relatable case studies when sharing your ideas. Through your relatable anecdotes and content that solves pain points you are positioned well to get referrals and grow your reach. It is critical to also think ahead and ensure your hook points are scalable for the business. If you target beyond your own demographic you will have a larger reach and find true fans more quickly. With a larger reach you have greater opportunities to have your content in front of change makers. To continue to scale up, ensure you are hitting as many online as well as offline markets for your ideas. Beyond YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn and Face Book look at getting on podcasts as well as traditional print media. Brendan says that he says yes to every opportunity he can, big and small, because you can always grab a new audience. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613397101779-MO579DOEGCX14TYY106T/Chap+9.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 9: Standing out as world class, and how to get Scarlett Johansson to eat hot wings with you “The most successful people are humble; realize they don’t know everything and are hungry for knowledge.” According to Brendan, making high level connections and relationships requires building trust within the individual’s circle of trust. You must continuously assess the needs of these individual’s and offer efficient strategies. Once you are inside the circle continue to focus on trust. Don’t sell, listen to their problems and offer solutions. These high-level individuals are looking for people with high social credibility, so keep yours up to date. If you are good at what you do and honestly try to offer solutions, you will go far. To come up with unique solutions continually ask yourself, “what keeps the CEO up at night?” Once again, Brendan highlights humility as a means for prosperity. Assessing when weakness equals success and being aware of your strengths and your weaknesses. The most successful people are humble, realize they don’t know everything and are hungry for knowledge. The ignorant person believes they know everything, stop learning and fail. Be observant of other people’s success and let it guide you in creating yours. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613397736966-2DNNSCQ6GQDGSXTG7Q6L/Chap+10.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Chapter 10: Your hook point is dead, long live the hook point “Empathy is the greatest driver of innovation.” As your “hooks” grow older you will need to continue to innovate, evolve and continuously think of your clients, their pain points and your unique solutions. Brendan offers these questions by founder of Works Collective, Nate Morley. Answering these questions helps you learn who you and your brand are and your unique point of view: - Who are you? - What is our purpose? - Why do we exist? - What do we want to say? - Who do we want to say it to? - How are we different? - What do we value? - How do we behave? - How are we different from other people in the space? Success doesn’t come from what you do but knowing who you are as a brand. The most successful brands market who they are and what they do becomes an expression and proof of who they are Talking about who you are creates longevity Brendan reminds us that he steps to finding a hook point are easy actually finding one is hard. That’s why you gave to work at it every day and build your skill through repetition. Remember that brand narrative must be consistent and relevant. You don’t have to think harder you just have to think different. It is essential to be a business that solves people’s problems. To do this, always ask how I can be of assistance to instead of asking if they want to buy a product The hook point marathon: Endurance, follow-through and the willingness to learn are the core of most people’s success. You only fail if you give up. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613397282400-8A5PO941MVOQZE0GOM59/Book.jpg Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Gold Key Challenges: These are some great challenges that will push your limits in developing your own hook points and understanding of yourself and others: - What is your audience’s pain point / challenges? What is your unique solution? What unique way will you present it? - Stop people from scrolling past your content: Check out Brendan’s blog and modify your content to ensure it is satisfying, paced properly and delivers a clear message that is congruent with your brand and solve a pain point for your audience. - Discover your own PCM preference as well as those around you. Adjust your communication strategy and observe the impact. - Let go of trying to sell what you want and instead think about what your customers need in terms of their priorities. - Explore new vectors to push your content out and grow your audience. - Ask yourself these three questions that Oprah starts every meeting asking. o What is our intention for this meeting? o What’s important? o What matters? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1613398116731-B68FQ5GSBZF6E5OSC3EL/Additional+Resources_.png Blog - Empathy, the greatest driver of innovation - Check out these resources: Brendan’s website is a treasure trove of useful information: www.brendanjkane.com/bkblog. If you are looking for personalized or online training in any area surrounding developing your interpersonal communication style check out my online training offerings: https://www.peopleformula.com/online-training https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/insight-a-people-formula-book-study monthly 0.5 2025-01-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611592637509-DJBIZHQAM0FSO2FMLHWA/book.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - The People Formula Book Study # Two “Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life” By: Tasha Eurich https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611592561318-ZZRX6TX2NUUQXADF35OM/brave+decision.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Background: Tasha Eurich and her amazing book, “Insight” came to my attention while listening to my friend Jordan Harbinger’s Podcast, “The Jordan Harbinger Show.” During the show Dr. Eurich discussed how most of us believe that we are self-aware. Her research clearly threw that assumption on its head. The research behind what many regard as the greatest skill a human can possess for success and happiness in life, self-awareness, was both riveting and compelling. Diving into the book forces you to confront a great challenge, “Making the brave decision to confront the truth about yourself?” Dr. Eurich does a stunning job of sharing both entertaining anecdotes as well as her research to better understand yourself and others. “Insight” forces you to take a major “lurch” forward in your awareness and she shares how it is sometimes perilous to be a speaker of truth. For the brave who decide to take the plunge, fear not, Dr, Eurich includes many tools and resources for every aspect of self-discovery throughout. Stand by for a wild ride of opening your eyes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611592728976-AMH3YZ9VKIV851VQS4YY/093-Tasha-and-Insight-800-X-500.jpeg Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - About the Author: Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author. She’s built a reputation as a fresh, modern voice in the business world by pairing her scientific grounding in human behavior with a practical approach to improvement. Over her 15-plus-year career, she’s helped thousands of professionals—from Fortune 500 executives to early stage entrepreneurs—improve their self-awareness and success. With a PhD in Industrial-Organizational Psychology and BAs in Theater and Psychology, Eurich has contributed to The Guardian, Entrepreneur, The Huffington Post, TED.com and CNBC.com, and has been featured in outlets like Business Insider, Fortune, Forbes, The New York Times, Fast Company, and New York Magazine. She has been named a “Top 100 Thought Leader” by Trust Across America, a “Leader to Watch” by the American Management Association, and one of Denver Business Journal's "40 Under 40.” Her TEDxMileHigh talk has been viewed more than one million times. Eurich’s first book, Bankable Leadership, debuted on the New York Times best-seller list. Her latest book, INSIGHT, delves into the connection between our self-awareness—what she calls the meta-skill of the twenty-first century—and performance and success, both in and out of the workplace. Hailed as a “bold, exhilarating take on self-improvement” by Success Magazine and a “fascinating read” by The Guardian, INSIGHT was recently named an Editor’s Choice by 800-CEO-READ. She lives in her hometown of Denver with her husband and their rambunctious dogs, and in her spare time, enjoys cycling, traveling, historical biographies, and is an unapologetic theater nerd. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611592279877-K96FRHEOR8KUYM2MV5IC/chap+1.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter One: The meta skill of the 21st century The book starts out by defining the challenge Dr. Eurich sets for us all, “The ability to see ourselves clearly.” The ability to understand ourselves is at the core of human survival and advancement. According to her research, people who know themselves and how people see them are happier, make better decisions, have better personal and professional relationships, raise more mature children who are smarter superior students who are more creative, confident and better communicators and more effective leaders. Dr. Eurich shares the qualities most critical for success in today’s world that are based self-awareness: - Emotional intelligence - Empathy - Influence - Persuasion - Communication - Collaboration What it means to be self-aware is the combining of our internal (seeing ourselves clearly and our impact on others) and external (understanding how other people see you.) Dr. Eurich uses poignant anecdotes about individuals she researched that she termed, “self-awareness unicorns.” These unicorns are people who made transformational improvements in their self-awareness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611592933385-2AKYUJQNEJO1XIORACDG/chap+2.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Two: The anatomy of self-awareness Dr. Eurich defines self-awareness as the will and skill to understand yourself and how others see you. The chapter focuses on the seven pillars of insight that she describes: - Values: The principles that guide us. - Passions: What we love to do. - Aspirations: What we want to experience and achieve. - Fit: The environment we require to be happy and engaged. - Patters: Our consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. - Reactions: The thoughts, feelings and behaviors that reveal our capabilities. - Impact: The effect we have on others. Dr. Eurich provides strategies to assist in our self-awareness. For instance, instead of asking yourself what you want to achieve, she suggests asking yourself what you want out of life. Also, examining your energy to determine your “Fit.” In other words, is your environment taking energy from you or giving it? Once we recognize our own patterns it enables us to take better control of ourselves by simply, “Pausing, Thinking, Adjusting.” This begins the process of perspective taking which she defines as the ability to imagine what others are thinking and feeling. Ultimately, the goal is to become non-judgmentally objective. Chinese proverb, “When the winds of change rage, some build shelters and others build windmills.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593101579-CBEFXJIJK3MM48P2BB37/chap+3.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Three: Blindspots – Inner self-awareness roadblocks The chapter highlights the challenges we have along the way to self-awareness, our blindspots. When regarding ourselves Dr. Eurich encourages us to look at ourselves honestly but gently. She further explains that human beings are not born with self-awareness and possess an unlimited ability to ignore our ignorance. The three blindspots described by Dr. Eurich are: - Knowledge blindness - Emotion blindness - Behavior blindness The most effective way to combat your own blindspots is to keep learning and utilize the adage, “The more I think I know, the more I have to learn.” Dr. Eurich offers these strategies to overcome your blindspots: - Identify your assumptions - Keep learning - Seek feedback https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593198982-W1LP0C1VA6EI6AJSEY28/chap+4.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Four: The cult of self: External self-awareness roadblocks This cult of self hinders us and Dr. Eurich provides both the awareness and the tools to break free. She highlights that past generations modeled modesty and humility as the hallmarks of a life well lived and that life was founded in hard work, grit and resilience. Dr. Eurich gives enlightening as well as entertaining examples of what she terms, “selfie syndrome.” Luckily, she also provides three strategies to manage yourself a bit better and begin to break down your own roadblocks: - Become an “informer” rather than an “me-former” - Cultivate humility - Have self-acceptance and compassion The virtue of humility is often the exception rather than the rule in our “cult of self” society. Focusing on these strategies will begin to break its pervasiveness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593288716-0D1QBKH3L6AIZQYUKBSJ/chap+5.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Five: Thinking isn’t knowing: The four follies of introspection The chapter is dedicated to introspection and the biggest misconceptions surrounding it. Dr. Eurich discusses the four follies of introspection: 1. We can’t excavate our unconscious, no matter how hard we try. 2. Trying to find the “why” behind our behavior can mislead and depress us. 3. Journaling isn’t universally effective – we must use the right approach. 4. Though rumination (endless self-scrutiny) can feel helpful, it prevents self-insight. Here are the “gold nugget” takeaways to assist in countering the follies: - Ask “what” questions instead of “why.” (This is my BIGGEST takeaway of the book ) - Explore the negative in ourselves but don’t overthink the positive. - Explore other people’s perspective. - Rumination is the greatest challenge to our happiness. Here are some strategies to counter rumination. o Ask yourself – Does anyone care as much as I do? o Adopt a “learn well” vs. “do well” mentality. o Walk away and hitting pause for yourself. o Internal thought stoppage. o Reality checks https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593420666-9OG9KBGMC6Z2ZZANN1PF/Insight+chap+6.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Six: Internal self-awareness tools that really work Mindfulness is about noticing what we are thinking and feeling without judgement. Many of us have an addiction to distraction and distraction decreases our happiness. According to her research, Dr. Eurich offers that people who are mindful are: - Happier - Healthier - More creative - More authentic - More in control of their behavior - More satisfied in their marriages - More relaxed - Less aggressive - Less burnt out - Thinner Mindfulness allows us to make smarter decisions in real-time and it begins with quieting the ego. Dr. Eurich offers non-meditative alternatives to achieve mindfulness such as hiking, running, biking and walking. Here are just a few of the strategies she offers to assist in your pursuit of mindfulness: - Reframing - Comparing and contrasting past from present - Reflect on discoveries - Short focused check ins - Take a step back and look at the bigger picture - Shift from “problems” to “growth goals” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593503178-NGHV7M1K8GQBJMME076H/Chap+7+weave.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Seven: The truth we rarely hear “The words of a drunk person are the thoughts of a sober one.” If internal self-awareness gains insight by looking inward and external self-awareness turns our gaze outward to understand how we are seen, then no matter how hard we try we simply cannot do this on our own. Dr. Eurich provides ample strategies to accomplish the challenge of obtaining the truth we rarely hear. She goes on to describe this truth as not just one opinion or observation but multiples. Dr. Eurich likens it to a single white light traveling through a prism and creating all the colors of the rainbow. Once you have the feedback, learning how to evaluate it and implement change is key. The greatest challenge of external self-awareness is the reluctance of others to give it and our reluctance to ask it. Push through the fear. 80% of top performing leaders solicit feedback. Receiving the right feedback requires you to: - Select the right people - Designing the right questions - Creating the right process The best people to select are “your loving critics.” Avoid asking both your unloving critics and uncritical lovers. All these tools are only the first steps to insight. Next, you must put the feedback to work. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593586418-Z93CJMD1AYPWR3FIHES6/Chap+8.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Eight: Receiving, reflecting and responding to difficult or surprising feedback One of the most challenging aspects of the self-awareness journey is receiving and growing from the feedback provided. Dr. Eurich recommends the 3R model, a step-by-step process to help you make sense of, and act smartly, on feedback: - Receive: During the feedback conversation, focus on asking questions for understanding. - Reflect: Make sense of the feedback. If not, seek data from other individuals. - Respond: Decide whether you will act on the feedback, and if so, what will you do about it. Dr. Eurich offers that though we should humbly admit our weaknesses first to ourselves, and then to others, sometimes we can’t change them, no matter how hard we try. Though change is often an option, it’s not the only option. Instead, work on viewing your limitations with compassion, compensating for it whenever possible, and above all, being humble and open about it with others. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593654779-PZDXLC5YDGN8EQVAUUB5/Chap+9.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Nine: How self-aware leaders build teams and organizations This chapter models what self-aware teams and organizations look like. They consistently build situational awareness with open and transparent communication. Dr. Eurich offers the three building blocks for self-aware teams: - The leader models the way - They create psychological safety - They have a process to keep it going These high performing teams utilize a leader feedback process that asks these questions: - What do we know about them? - What do we want to know? - What should they know about us? - What concerns do we have about them? - What expectations do we have of them? - What do we want them to start and stop doing? - What feedback do we have about our strategy, vision and plan? Phycological safe teams outperform all and because they have higher self-awareness, they have higher morale and brand. In order to achieve this high level, they must have: - Trust - See each other as real - Transparency and vulnerability Continually ask yourself, “what are you pretending not to know?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593743642-NY8Y9OC5NMRLP3NT9IYL/chap+10.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Ten: Surviving and thriving in a delusional world The catch 22 of self-awareness: The people who need it the most are usually the least likely to know they need it. Always remember that other people’s self-awareness journeys are not ours to make. Dr. Eurich describes the three types of delusional people: - The lost cause - They are aware but don’t care - The nudgeable Dr. Eurich offers these eight tools to deal with delusional people: - Compassion without judgement - Float feet first: Go with the flow and remove yourself - Re-framing: Ask what they can teach you - Laugh track: Try to see the humor in the sometimes-preposterous behaviors - State your needs: Re-negotiate the boundaries of your relationship - Weigh your options of intervening - Confront with compassion - Walk away The true key to our handling of these individuals is accepting what we cannot change and changing what we can. Remember, someone else’s self-awareness is not your problem to fix, it’s theirs. It is best to not battle the current and instead flow into calmer waters. An effective strategy is to give yourself a positive bias regarding them by asking yourself, “What can they teach us?” The lifelong pursuit of self-awareness can be long, difficult and messy but the fact that we are never truly self-aware makes the journey exciting. Ultimately, self-awareness is a necessary but not sufficient condition for a life well lived. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611597797103-AUQBUCKB6WH1PPSGULPB/Key+takeaways.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - I learn a great deal from each book I read and there is always way too much great information to absorb and implement in one read. I highlight a few key points, lessons, tools or techniques from each first reading. here are my two from “Insight”: Ask “what” questions and not “why” questions. I have already started doing this with fantastic results. Be an “informer” not a “me—former.” This was another great critical reminder that I try to use every day and chance I get. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611593926854-TGO646WKS5CHGGZJ92M8/resources.png Blog - “Insight”: A People Formula Book Study - For Tasha’s resources check out her website: https://www.tashaeurich.com/ For People Formula resources including: Webinars Speaking Coaching Online training Thoughts of the day Podcasts and YouTube channel https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/people-formula-book-study-one-human-hacking-win-friends-influence-people-and-leave-them-better-off-for-having-met-you monthly 0.5 2021-03-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667082422-S8WBVHF3MQKOIPT2V884/_How+to+keep+yourself+safe+from+your+greatest+vulnerability%2C+you._+Chris+Hadnagy_+Author%2C+Human+Hacking.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study Background: Chris has been a friend of mine as well as fellow board member (Innocent Lives Foundation) and collaborator since 2009. Through all our years together his passion for the behavioral sciences has been never ending as well as his commitment to excellence and his compassion for others. His latest book, “Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for having Met You” is his life’s work and passion for understanding the interpersonal skills we all hope to have to be successful in every aspect of our lives. His book is in essence his week-long Advanced Practical Social Engineering (APSE) Class that can now be shared by all. At first glance I thought Human Hacking was going to be a different kind of business book, so I asked Chris a question for a deeper understanding of his goal with his book; “What are you hoping to accomplish with this book and who do you hope reads it and is your primary target audience?” Here is what he said: “The last 4-5 years of my APSE class has been more than 50% filled with people NOT in tech and wanting to learn these skills to take their lives to the next level. Also, my life is so much better for having met you and people like Joe (Navarro), Ekman (Paul) etc., and having learned these things and applied them. I want others to benefit the same way. So really it is ANY person that is the target audience. Anyone who wants to learn to be better.” Chris takes every aspect of human interaction and breaks it down into understandable and repeatable processes. Along the way, he shares his funny and sometimes humbling anecdotes he experienced in learning these lessons. You will also learn about how to truly become a modern day “007” without having to join a “three letter” government agency. If you are looking for the perfect resource to understand yourself and others better so you can create great success as well as recognize nefarious people targeting you, look no further. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667365730-ZO0YS44PFYUFPE723NO6/_Cultivate+an+empathetic+mindset_.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter One: Know yourself so you can know others. This chapter kicks off the book with an understanding of the DISC communication style assessment and gives an easy-to-understand explanation as well as self-assessment tools. Equally, if not more importantly, the chapter covers how to recognize the style of others so that you can adjust and build upon a theme of the chapter, empathy. Hadnagy offers that "empathy is the imaginative act of experiencing someone else's point of view." With the knowledge gleaned from this chapter "you will become more aware of your own worse impulses and adjust yourself accordingly." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667468369-HYX88BDEN6POPC5CI9QN/Become+the+person+you+need+to+be.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Two: Become the person you need to be. Even more accurately this chapter is about becoming the person the individual you are encountering is hoping you will be. Hadnagy describes #pretexting as understanding the “context” of how the other person engages and relates to the world around them based on all the factors that create who we are. Our ethnicity, gender, generation, social and economic status, etc. Once we understand these #traits, he offers that we adapt ourselves / offer a #pretext in order to allay the fears of those we encounter. A well-crafted pretext will help establish good initial #rapport and prepare the way for #trust. The chapter offers the acronym PREPARE to pave the way for success: - Problem - Result - Emotional state - Provocation - Activation - Rendering - Evaluation https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667555203-H59S2ME9JBTE5G3G7U27/_Humble+people+make+us+feel+great+about+ourselves.+Be+that+person%21_+Chris+Hadnagy%2C+Human+Hacking.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Three: Nail the approach. This fantastic chapter is all about rapport and ensuring the first few minutes of any encounter goes well for you as well as the other person. Hadnagy gives very specific actions you can take to answer these critical initial contact concerns humans have: Who is this? What do they want? How long will this take? Are they a threat? We answer these critical questions not just by our words but also by our appearance and nonverbal behaviors. Hadnagy offers that the key to not being “creepy” is to “Not be at odds with your authentic self.” In other words, be congruent with your emotions, words and actions. Make a habit of building common ground by using these eight techniques he employees from my first book, “It’s Not All About Me”: 1. Time constraints 2. Adjust your rate of speech 3. Request assistance 4. Suspend your ego 5. Validate 6. Connect with “quid-pro-quo” 7. Give to get 8. Manage your expectations Hadnagy ends the chapter encouraging the reader to “Build rapport and you will have done something to build community and heal our fractured world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667660453-X797O482MC8EG307DYTL/Practice.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Four: Make them want to help you. This chapter continues to build upon the interpersonal skills covered and focusses entirely on the principles of influence. Hadnagy does a good job of both describing as well as sharing interesting and entertaining anecdotes surrounding the following influence techniques: - Reciprocity - Concession - Scarcity - Consistency - Authority - Liking Ultimately, he shares how understanding these techniques will help you recognize malicious actors and enable you to help keep your loved ones healthy and thriving. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667742878-LEUQRIEK0919VIK6G2W2/_Match+the+RSVP+of+others+and+connect+better_+R+-+Rhythm+S-+Speed+V-+Volume+P+-+Pitch+Chris+Hadnagy%2C+_Human+Hacking_.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Five: Make them want to tell you. This chapter is all about the most powerful of all communication skills if executed well, elicitation. Elicitation is the technique of inducing others to share information without asking specific questions or arousing suspicion. This is also potentially the most dangerous chapter. Individuals who can elicit compromising information with malicious intent can do great harm. Luckily, knowing these skills can equally protect yourself from evil doers. Hadnagy offers that once you have established rapport there are seven steps to planning your elicitation strategy: - Frame the intended goal - Observe the person of interest and adjust - Frame the invitational question and exit strategy - Drive the conversation forward with open ended questions - Use active listening - Remembering the details - Leave them feeling better Hadnagy reminds the reader to be patient with the technique and that “the greedier we are the more prone to overreaching we are.” Hadnagy shares the five most powerful elicitation techniques he and I utilized when teaching together years ago: - Intentional misstatements - Bracketing - Primacy / transfer of trust - Feigned incredulity - Quote reported facts When an individual plans the strategy with the seven steps, utilizes at least one of the elicitation techniques and ultimately communicates matching rhythm, speed, volume and pitch (RSVP) the results are truly remarkable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667831626-8PRNGDFOPQBBHZLD2GU7/North+Star.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Six: Stop deviousness in its tracks. The theme of this chapter is how to protect yourself against would-be manipulators by understanding and recognizing their tricks. Defining, recognizing and avoiding the pitfalls of manipulation plays center stage in this chapter. Hadnagy discusses the four pathways to susceptibility and how to recognize and guard against them: - Environmental control - Forced reevaluation of your beliefs and context - Increased powerlessness - Punishment Leave them better off for having met you is the North Star by which to guide you sway from manipulation tactics. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610667946599-PJ7LEVSVJR1GTGGRLGLH/One+Look.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Seven: Let your body do the talking. This is a straightforward chapter summarizing the importance and impact of nonverbal behavior on our communication in furtherance of not only our objectives but understanding the emotions and intentions of others. The chapter emphasizes the differences between stress and comfort nonverbals as well as the difference between macro and micro nonverbals. Hadnagy discusses and demonstrates with illustrative and fun photos of his daughter, Amaya, the Big Seven emotions: - Anger - Fear - Surprise - Disgust - Contempt - Sadness - Happiness Hadnagy goes on to offer that observing and interpreting nonverbal behavior can tell you the emotional state of someone, not why they have them. He cautions against assumptions and encourages utilizing “baseline” behaviors for more accurate interpretation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610668039977-TKPUM9BFFKJVRQGLSD9V/authentic.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Eight: Polish your presentation: In chapter eight we focus on how we present ourselves authentically in order to maximize the social interaction. In order to accomplish this Hadnagy offers that being a skillful storyteller is a critical skill for success. Additionally, you need to attend to the details of the social interaction in both your prep work as well as during the engagement. According to Hadnagy, here are the five big authenticity fails to avoid: - You are too direct and overexplaining your pretext - You “negate the frame” and highlight who you are not and thereby drawing undo attention - You are so perfect that you are not believable - You are tone death to your own use of inappropriate language - You attempt to go beyond your goals thereby sabotaging your gains Finally, Hadnagy says that it is important to know as much as you can about the person you are going to encounter but cautions readers to not obsess. Authenticity is the key to successful encounters and authentic people are imperfect. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610668116538-TDLH6GP8V837MB1686I3/Empathy+Rocks.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Chapter Nine: Putting it all together: The chapter is exactly what it states, putting all the skills gleaned throughout the book together for the best encounter possible. Ace your critical conversations by planning them in advance by creating a conversation outline. Hadnagy offers these ten steps for success: - Map the terrain, i.e., understand the people and personalities involved - Define your goal - Decide on your pretext - Imagine your rapport building - Identify potential influence building or elicitation techniques - Run a quick manipulation check. - Pump up the non verbals - Conduct an authenticity check - Prepare for likely contingencies - Solidify your gains Hadnagy concludes by reminding readers to keep flexible with new data as the encounter unfolds “real time” and my personal favorite, “Empathy Rocks!” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1610668680414-QYCC0EE0G7KFQZ94LXMD/resources.png Blog - “Human Hacking”: A People Formula Book Study - Human Hacking Book Resources: http://humanhackingbook.com People Formula related training: https://www.peopleformula.com/online-training https://www.robindreeke.com/blog/six-signs-to-predicting-behavior monthly 0.5 2020-11-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1605399681099-VKXBZXMT2XI7LR672S0C/sizing+people+up+logo.png Blog - 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Whether you are looking for discussions on TRUST or The Forged by Trust Podcast Interviews, this is your one stop shop for Robin’s video content. Subscribe Here! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e6556a2bf29201087193f07/1611947117255-I25Q4WQBDK72N7ET4JUZ/FC1D1A9A-946D-4DAF-A060-8054E4EC03EF_1_201_a.jpeg Videos and Podcasts - Robin Dreeke | Respect through the Code of Trust | Talks at Google Author Robin Dreeke shows how to use 5 simple rules to develop trust with one another, and to create an environment of respect. Robin is a best-selling author, professional speaker, trainer, facilitator, retired FBI Special Agent and Chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. Robin has taken his life's work of recruiting spies and broken down the art of leadership, communication, and relationship building into five steps to trust and six signs of who you can trust. Since 2010, Robin has been working with large corporations as well as small companies in every aspect of their business. Whether it is newly promoted leaders, executives, sales teams, or customer relations, Robin has crafted his People Formula for quick results and maximum success. 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